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Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Dear Papa

Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Piekary Sląskie Basilica


Dear Papa,

 I miss you so much. I don't know anything else to say right now which is why I stop writing here for awhile hoping I could find answers somewhere.  Yet, I feel like writing back here would be a great relief and would be a great sounding board for me to express the feelings when you left. So, here I am writing you here in my blogosphere. Perhaps, up there in heaven there is a great connection that would some way connects this feelings/writings to you.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I could say it one million times a day and it would never diminish the feeling.  It would never take away the giant whole in my life caused by your absence. I keep waiting for someone to tell me what to do without you and no one has the answer. At the very least, could someone give me the acting lessons I need to pretend I know what to do?

The other day I was reminded of the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and I found myself wondering If I would ever erase anything from my life because it was too painful.  And I found myself, just for a moment, wishing I could erase my memories of you.  Thinking of how much easier it would be If I never knew you existed so I would never have to miss you like I miss you now.  

I wish I could have you back in my life... 
:-(  

I love you and I miss you so much Papa! 

Your daughter,
Ai
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