'EMPTY'

Felt so empty today...maybe because of the weather outside. It's a gloomy day. The past days were so hot. I could feel the heat of the summer but today its colder...no sun..the sky is all gray.

Not thinking much of my birthing...and I don't dwell much my thinking now to people. It will just give me much burdens and hazzles in the coming days. Definitely half-full...I am an optimist - insanely so. I am thinking things are going to go smootly and I assume it'll be alright...my coming due date, rearing a child, being a mom, a wife and a friend. I am trying to plan now for the best, not the worst of life. I guess it is the best aura I should possess more these days..and I should be consistent on that.

There might be dry and low times in life....but at least now I learn how to pick up the pieces and be on my own. I admit, I've been very much dependent on G at these times....but that doesn't mean I have to rely on him forever...i have to make something for myself too and never let my knowledge & experience just be stock in the corner. I have plans..great plans ahead....not only for myself but more entirely for my new found life. To put myself back to the world of my own..to be the usual me. This time not thinking more of my selfish desires...as I said, more on the people I truly find true happiness and joy in living.

With all these in mind today, I still felt a certain emptiness inside of me. I do not know why..i keep on telling myself now to get away with this feeling.... maybe I just think too much for the coming days...and that I am alone most of the time.

Hey! Hey! Hey! I have to stop this stupid feeling now...or else nothing will happen to me. I should not let my glass be half- empty again...Instead, i should continue to fill it with much more enthusiasm, jest to face life. I should continue too to count more my blessings than dwell on such delirium.

To unwind myself.... I listened to Ray LaMontagne song titled 'EMPTY'. I like the lyrics..it's so poetic. It talks some of my feelings and questions of emptiness.......enjoy!