I've seen friends hesitate to post their own face online, avoid showing up at events, or hide parts of their lives, not because they’re doing anything wrong, but because their partner isn’t "aware" of their whereabouts. Some fear judgment, others fear conflict. But at the core of it, this behavior is often rooted in manipulation masked as love.
But let’s be real. Aren’t relationships built on trust, mutual respect, and partnership?
Not control. Not fear. Not ownership.
For me, I cannot and will not live in a relationship where I have to shrink, hide, or constantly adjust just to make the other person feel comfortable. Love should not cost you your freedom.
Both people in a relationship should be able to live their own lives. Together as partners, while still having the grace and space to enjoy freedom and privacy. You can be deeply connected to someone and still be your own person.
Boundaries aren’t a threat. They’re a sign of emotional maturity.
Trust doesn’t mean control. It means giving space without suspicion.
Privacy doesn’t mean secrets. It means respecting the individual within the union.
When there is real trust, there’s no need to imagine the worst when your partner is out with friends, posts a photo, or takes a moment for themselves. There is peace, not paranoia.
A loving relationship should feel like a safe place to grow, not a place to wither away under expectations, guilt, or emotional pressure. It’s a partnership not ownership.
So if you ever find yourself dimming your light, hiding your smile, or editing your life to keep someone else comfortable… pause.
You deserve more.
You deserve someone who sees your light and loves you for it, not someone who wants to turn it off.
You deserve a relationship built on mutual comfort, not one where only one person gets to feel safe.
Because love isn’t about keeping someone small.
It’s about growing together, with freedom, with trust, and with deep, mutual respect.
Cheers!
xo,
Ai