Loneliness strikes me again today. I hate to feel this way..the feeling of emptiness and longing for Philippines. Though, we have constant communication with the people at home. Then again, I could not help but overpower with sadness sometimes. I am trying to appeal myself by listening to music from my favorite Toto's hits down to the classical hits of Mozarts. Maybe, the early drips of rain is one reason why I felt so blue today. It was raining early morning today. At least, it quench the thirst of the newly bloom flowers of spring. Yes! it's spring time now here. Another beauty unfolds the season.
From listening to music, I tried to put myself back to sleep but It seems my mind is so disturbed by somethings. I even tried to put my attention on some small chores in the house like folding our newly washed clothes. But still...loneliness envelops me.
What really makes me lonely today?
I ask myself... is it because, I just chat with my dad and that he is telling me right in the middle of our conversation that he missed his once only little girl at home. Hmmmmmmmmm....... Sorry, but your girl now dad turns into a full blown woman..with great dedication in life as a wife and a mom soon. That might be one reason why I felt blue today. Or maybe because there are lots of things I really miz of experiencing now.
Let me list down things that I truly missed in the Philippines...
* My FAMILY & FrIeNdS > I couldn't explain how much I value the companies of these people. They are part of my journey in life. ONE word; they are my treasures in my place.
* My ROOM > sounds intriguing?! It's my sanctuary, my heaven on earth. After a hard day at work or outside the house. I spent most of my time there. Resting my back in my old antique bed I inherited from my grandparents house.
* My dog NICHOLAS > My baby...my shock absorber, though he could not talk to me and yet I know he understands when I'm lonely or sad or that I am angry on somebody or somethings. I missed the barking & waggling of his tail when I reached home or that if he wants to play with me. 
* The SUNSHINE > Where you can get the best tan for free. While here in Poland, they are trying to get the best tan in there skin and paid for it a lot. Before, the heat of the sun sometimes irritates me 'pano nalang ang skin whitening na ginamit ko' ngek! Yet, that is life in the tropical country. I think, we just had our fair share of weather and seasons. Like here, you've got to experience the very cold weather which we will not experience there in PINAS.
* The BEACH > Where my place is best known of. It is a city yet you can easily get to the beach if you want to. While here, I am miles away from the beach.
* The NOISE > Here in Poland, you can only got to hear the sound of the passing trams, trains in the city and cars. No heavy blowing of horns not unless its an emergency. In the suburb, you can only hear the chirping of the birds and the whistle of the wind. In the Philippines, the sounds may not be as harmonic, but oddly endearing.
* TAXIS > I usually complain a lot to the taxi drivers back home. But compared to other countries, Philippines taxies are cheaper.
* CARBON WET MARKETS, UKAY-UKAY, MALLWIDE SALE IN THE MALL > There's nothing fun than getting a good bargain. Malls, where I usually meet ups with my friends for a chit chat or that going somewhere. I still remember the McDonald meet ups right beside Ronald McDonald :-)
* Small Tindahan's like the SARI-SARI STORES > Where I can just walk few minutes if I crave to eat junky. Although, there are small kiosk here, but not really popular. And of course, the smiles of the tambay's in the store who has nothing to do than staring or chasing woman of there liking with a bottle of beer in there hands..or that without clothes on the upper body. People here, can't do that. For one, this is a cold country and people here don't usually hang out outside the houses.
* The SMILES > The smiles of the children playing by the roadside and the smiles of people you met on the way. There's really a distinct way of how Filipinos smiles. They also embark a smile that is contagious. It brings out the beauty of a true Filipino.
* THE CHAOS > There's something about the chaotic life in the Philippines. The life there maybe disorganized maybe because of political, social issues and that showbiz lifestyle of people. But living there for 20 more years makes me miss it.
* JOLLIBEE > The all time popular Filipino fast food. You can see the outlets all over the city, in all corners. It might be too soury in the eyes seeing the smiles of jollibee in every corner but, it's purely Filipino..ika nga nila "langhap sarap sa Jollibee" :-) There's no Jollibee here and that's why I am craving for some taste of it.
* TRICYCLES & JEEPNEYS > I am a commuter. This means of transportation takes me to places wherever I go. The fun of commuting is the chance to meet people from different walks of life and in enhancing your enerygy level in spying robbers or hold-uppers in the jeep. When commuters are flocking on the streets to get a ride home or going to school & in the office, of course it enhance your ability too for being alert to grab a sit.
* The manner of dressing > here, you've got to wear plenty of clothes on or else you will get cold..while there, you can wear the thinnest clothes you want. May it be summer or rainy season.
* STREETFOODS > from the barbecues in the side street like adidas, spinal cord or in tina-i, banana-q, camote-q, mani, fishballs, tempura, shrimpballs, flavor of the road ice creams...these are all my favorites. I missed them so badly! especially now that I have lots of food cravings mostly filipino foods and taste. Nothing really bets the taste of the Pinoys.
YES! I felt loneliness again today but when I think about all these things I missed...it made me smile and think of home more again. I may felt a little sadness since I could have a taste on some of those things and yet lurking back in the blog world made my feeling a little less heavy. It calms me a bit.
Oh whew! let me just listen back to the music of Toto....
No comments:
Post a Comment