Wednesday, April 06, 2016

I'm running

Wednesday, April 06, 2016
A photo posted by @polished_ai on

You read it right. I am running. Not because I'm scared of something or that I'm trying to get away with something. Seriously, I'm running to be fit again.  Friends and family said that I'm insane or it is a crazy idea knowing I'm still on medication. Maybe, I am crazy, but for hell Noooo!!

Okay. To prep myself for my first training run, I prepared this simple spinach salad dish.

Why I'm running?

because I need to run. I like to run. I want to move forward without worrying of what's been happening. I need to let go of the exist baggages that I been carrying for so long. that with running I know I would be able to think more and do more.
I want to be active once again. I want to free my mind from toxic thoughts. I want to ignite and extracts that happy hormones back in my body. I want my cheerful self back. I want freedom and importantly, I love myself that I want to see myself fit and be healthy.

Who motivates me to run?

A very good friend of mine is a great influencer. ( I know you are reading this...I love you! *wink) 
She motivates and inspires me to be active again. She listens to my worries and what I'm going through. I thought, I am all alone. Yet we are in the same boat. I saw her struggling in some point of her life. With what she's achieving now, I know I can also do it. It's kind of motivating seeing people getting up on their feet without feeling somethings gone wrong , without feeling defeated after a struggle. And, I am so glad for such people. For being there and motivating me to just listen to myself and do what I feel best. 

 I used to be a fan of yoga and pilates. When you say fan really addicted to it. But my reason then is just to feel sexy. It is not a good idea when you engaged yourself to a sport just because u want that super model body. So, I usually do yoga/Pilates at home and with a group session nearby where I live. Yet, I have to stop that activity too as per my doctors advice because it triggers more my neck injury and other related health issues. Instead I rely on synthetic pills and one theraphy to another that involves a lot of medications and surgery.  After knowing I might undergo another surgery again, I promised myself not to undergo another operation again. Never!

While thorough reading and listening from other people's testimonies, I know I need to be stubborn sometimes with my doctors. And, to just listen to what my mind and body is telling me. To go where my heart goes. My heart says, I need to be active and heal myself naturally by practicing a healthy lifestyle and that having a regular sports that I like doing.  I choose to run. And, the most important person who really motivates me to run is myself

There's no turning back now. I will run as much as I can until I achieved my goal of running in a 5K race. 

Am I ambitious?  Am I insane? Yes, I am! I have to and I need to. This is my motivation. 

I'm running not because I am running away from myself. Because what I know is when you run and feel those excitements that's when you get vulnerable. You feel those stored emotions, and you get to stay true to what you are feeling. You liberate yourself from pain. As I feel the sensations in my body while I'm breathing gently enough to feel what my heart is longing for I sense that freedom, enlightement, self discovery and peace. As I take a slow and adjust my pace while running, I begin to discover more and more sense of myself, my being. 

That's why I'm running.

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