I'm old and Awesome!

 Disclaimer: long post ahead. 

Just because I have the time😉

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I’m old and Awesome!

Yes, you read it right. I am old.

I am a 40 year old something gal or perhaps an old lady. 😊

I would like to tell you what makes it awesome being at this age rocks.

(insert soul dying)

Well, I’m getting old. We all do. I am doing therapy every now and then just because my body don’t lie anymore.

My 40th birthday was celebrated in a quiet way because that’s how it is I think when you aged. You want peace, quiet and serene celebration, and the coming 40 + birthdays, I realized I am celebrating it the same way when I reached my 40. Nahhh! Is this something to do with age? Or just the kuripot me kicks in again.

Hhmmmm….

Before I remind you to respect your elders and get off my lawn, I’ve have some great news to share.

Being at your 40’s is AWESOME!

Turning in the line of 4 – 0 is sort of the best thing ever. So go ahead let that worry go.

Looking back, my twenties were a blur of climbing to the corporate success, raising a dog, trying to find my forever and being drunk at the ugliest place surrounded with great minded friends, and of course, mending my broken heart as If that was the end of the world for me.

20’s is the best years of my life, but so consumed with career choices and getting ahead. So worried about not knowing the right people, making flawless impressions and setting up my future. It was a whirlwind decade of fun and frequently crippling uncertainties best summed up by question, “Am I doing the right thing?”

Thirties hits me, oh my ! It was heaven to be that age. If heaven is for real, then I am in heaven. I met by babies. I became a mother of two. I was surrounded with my beautiful little angels. All those fears and doubts that I had when I was at my 20’s were replaced with indescribable joy of content and completion of being a woman as a am. It’s amazing. I am alive and so ready to take on that challenges of motherhood. I bid farewell to night outs with friends, eating to a fancy restaurants  …..My infertility issue – we hit all the big stuff. Decisions though loomed at some point at that time. Should I just be a stay-at-home-Mom ? Should I work later? Should we add more kids? Am I going to have this bely stretch marks forever? how to keep this marriage works? then, i finally realised i should follow what's in my heart. I tell you, thirties are not the faint of heart.

Then, I realized now, I am at peace with myself. I feel good about myself, friends!

While I have to admit I worry at times that my neck skin seems slightly starting to loose all of a sudden, getting older means I like me. and I can pay to fix that loose skin of my neck. Being at my 40’s is magical and I am owning this decade. Why?

Exhibit A:

I do not care anymore if people don’t like me.

I am a lifelong people pleaser. Growing up in a family where I am surrounded with all boys team, I am always the center of the attention and being protected at all times. That taught me how about being nice to people and helping everyone as much as  I can is a great thing. IT has changed over the past year. I don’t mind not being recognized and who helped who and who…. Life experience means that I’m confident in who I’ve become. If I’m at peace with my God and with my family  I’m good. If someone doesn’t agree with me, that’s absolutely okay.

Exhibit B:

I’m confident in ways I never imagined. I’ve embraced my occasionally over-the-top personality. But, I know myself well enough. I know my limits and where to strikes my mouth when I need to. Close friends and family knows me that I am quieter and more serene, especially if I am with my all-time favourite Asian noodles and my bowl of rice with eggs omelet on top.

The bottom line is, I’m suddenly owning it, you know! I am proud of the woman I am now, my knee scars and all. I still have no idea what I’m doing half the time. My Iza is 14 and my son Jan is 12, and there is a 98.99 % chances that I’m still directly responsible of any and all therapy in their future. However, age really does equal wisdom.

I forgive myself and move on when I don’t get it right the first time. I recognized my good intentions and unending love for my family. I know that I am far from perfect yet I know that being perfect is boring! Yet, I honor myself for doing the best I can. I’m not worried about the people who judge me and forgive those who hurts me – that the blocking button is built entirely for those people (whew).

I will freely admit that I am a frustrated singer during my 90’s. Blame my Uncles who always likes to let me join in an amateur singing contest – that I never won in any, because I never had that confidence in the crowd then. But, it is never too late to be still embracing that passion at this age. So, I’m going to do it. Seriously, this age is my jam and I have full confidence of myself.

This is clearly the best age so far. So bring it on…. 50’s I am ready!