I'm still here! Are you?

 Hello there!

I do not know if anyone still reading my blog. The last time I wrote something in here when I turned & hit my 43rd birthday. Exactly that was 2 months ago. How is that? 

Where I've been? Am i still seriously running this blog? What am in here for?

To be honest, i do not know too! 

*serious face here..thinking

Well yeah, where am I the past years, months of not writing? Did i lose that passion of expressing myself into writing? No! Actually,  I am trying to live my life the way everyone trying to live.

I found my life back working into the corpo world, stop teaching the English language for kids..well, partly I teach some friends children like tutoring. Overall,  my full hours in the daytime on a weekdays spent mostly at work, infront of my laptop sometime more than 8 hours a day. Not good right? 

Like living in a rat race thats how i see it...

I have to be honest, I am tired and mybe so burn out working. But,what can I do, i need to earn. Do we really need to live by pay check by paycheck all the time?

I listened to a podcast today and it hit me this question..

Are you working with passion or with pride?

Bang! 

#*@*@*@!!!()!&#

That hits me right to the core of my being.

I pondered upon it all day.

That's what I have been thinking lately...or I am just so burned out at work that i need my head out from thinking about corpo thing.

Here I am..anyway. 

After 2 hours of napping today after work, I woke up and all alone. The house is all pitch black, silence and i reflected upon my life the past years and months since the pandemic. That I am a lonely working girl plus a full time mom. 

Am I living my life? I realised... not really.

 I live my life working to compensate my responsibilities and pride that I am doing something to feel that i am somebody. 

I am being hard on myself. I forget about this tiny little world of mine which is blogging, where I can just be me and pour out the passionate things i love to do, from cooking to doing things by my hand. This has been kind of an outlet for my so not absurd boring life in Poland. I forgot i build of network of friends here in this virtual world, in which somehow can relate to my flight as an expat living away from home. Sorry for that if i have neglected you. Not intended but I feel guilty.

So my napping today implicates a lot of stuffs in my head to keep going with what i used to do...writing and sharing things here. 

After all, the point of blogging here is to take a look at my life from an expat perspective as I am polishing myself along the way.

So what am i here for? That"s it!

I hope you are still here...  I am still here. Really.

Did you read me right?

Have a great day!

Love,

Ai