Hello, Gilbert!

Hello there!

Meet my friend, Gilbert!

Yes, you read it right. I'm saying hello to my newfound friend Gilbert. Probably I am married to him already or will stay with me forever. 

Anyways, a lot has changed and a lot of life events happened. 

Life happens, as they say.....

I never thought I would post a very ugly entry of myself here....ugly, because I never felt this crap. 😅  but let me write it in a bit of a positive way.

Well, I am diagnosed with Gilbert Syndrome ( a genetic liver disorder or condition where the liver doesn't properly process bilirubin, leading to an excess build up in the blood). 

So, say hello to Gilbert! 😂 

My experience....

While some people are asymptomatic, and doctor's say it is mild and benign, it is clear from reading others and from my own experience that this is not always the case. In fact, reading about the variety of symptoms people encounter made me finally feel like I could name what was going on in my body. It has been at least some years since my symptoms began impacting my life ( I just recently realised it).

I have had major episodes RECENTLY that have been so bad that I COULD NOT FUNCTION for weeks and month at a time. Every time I'd get a battery of blood work, all normal except bilirubin, and leave no explanation. That I should just expose myself more often to the sun and take Vit D3, especially during the winter because I have the deficiency of it.

There is no medical intervention, but I need to eat a protein-rich diet and eat consistently. That my intermittent fasting is not an ideal diet plan for me as it triggers more episodes and attacks.  Fasting can be a trigger and carbs are not my friend, and going plant-based exacerbated it, get enough sleep, manage stress ( that is why I quit my job since it triggers more) and absolutely avoid alcohol. So I am jobless in the next coming months. But it won't make me less a person and paralyzed me without having one. I've decided and will dedicate this time to nurture and take care of myself more, do more healing and be present. 

A lot of these things I've come to naturally because I know my body responds well to them but it is validating to see them in writing. 

What I've learned is that we all have to listen to our own bodies and what is best for one is not always what is best for another. And while doctors can give us information, they don't always know what it is like to be in our bodies. I am fine and I will be fine especially knowing it is in my power to keep it under control. 

On a positive note, bilirubin is a natural antioxidant and can potentially protect against heart disease ( and that's why it keeps me looking young). How is that? 😁😘

So there is no cure or treatment for it, so if I'm really good with all the general well-being stuff like staying as toxic-free ( especially consider blocking toxic friends), eating well and on time, good enough sleep, exercise, more exposure to sunshine, and importantly get away with stressful situation- the best cure. Stress is a killer! 

The symptoms ( which I get everytime), are:

- feeling hungover (without having a drink)

- Jaundice (blurry cloudy yellowish appearance of the eyes especially when I have my triggers and attacks)

- flu-like feeling

- headaches ( really terrible ones), although i have a problem with my cervical disc disease of my back /lordosis spine that triggers also my migraine attacks. Every time it attacks, my blood pressure soar up.

- Aversion to bright lights

- Difficulty concentrating

- Dizziness ( I feel like my whole world is spinning like I'm in a merry-go-round).

- Gastro issues (tummy upset, nausea)

- Fatigue (lately this bugging me a lot. I couldn't explain my 😩 tiredness. It is tough both mentally and physically.)

- Loss of appetite 

- Mood swings, depression & panic attacks : that brought me to seek professional help. I'm undergoing sessions now with a Psychotherapist. That  I may have PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Another things that I'm dealing with. 🙃  

In our next session, I would like to know more how these  two correlates with each other. 

The Psychologist me is seeking for a Psychologist. How is that?! I couldn't help myself alone.

And I have this,

- General feeling of being a crap 🥲 : sometimes I spent my nights crying or that days feeling so down. 

Call me a hypochondriac, but I know my body so well. 

So friends, listen to your body and take care of yourself first and foremost before taking care of others. Our body is our temple, we only have one body and we can only live once.

I am posting this for general awareness and if you know someone who has such symptoms or know anyone else with GS, all they need is your moral/ emotinal support and understanding. 

So, I'll be spending the next coming months by taking care of myself and find healing.

xo,

Ai