15

 

That is my daughter's portrait photo I took few year ago.

Today, is her 15th birthday.

Where time goes?

Looking at this photo, it reminded me of a lot of her happy memories as a young girl. I could see magic in her eyes. A sparkle that exist in a child who believes in the magic of possibility. 

She always still has that sparkle that I thought it would dull out as she grow up, but she proved me wrong. I still see this spark inside of her. 

This is one gift I want her to hold dear in her heart, to keep believing in magic of possibilities.

It also flashes me back to the time I gave birth to her and the first time I get to hold her hands.

So many flashbacks mostly happy ones and I want to keep remembering it and store it in my memory forever. 

Those hazel brown eyes of hers profoundly showing how she is truly loved by many. It entails of her clear vision and goals in life - I hope, it won't change eventually or that being messed up by circumstances.

The second half of my life began is when I gave birth to her. I didn't stop being myself. However adding being a mom, mother and mommy to the new chapter of my life is something I wouldn't change for anything in this world.  It is full of excitements and challenges that I fondly huddle without remorse. The new role became my greatest teacher as she needed me in this world as an example. There are times, I am wondering If I am doing it right. But there is no school who could teach me how to become the perfect mom or that would provide me guidelines to follow. It is not a trial and error as well, but being there at the present moment and doing it right the first time. If you made a mistake, you get to learn from it.

15 is such a wonderful age - to learn, to explore and try new adventure. At the same time, an age I am afraid for she is still vulnerable and fragile. If I only I could protect her with all my might. But she also need to discover pain and how to overcome it. 

15 years of being a mom is something I am so grateful of and hoping to keep this wonderful bond of mother-daughter together. 

I'm so grateful of this motherhood for it resonates me the true definition of patience and as my sort of compass as I navigate through life.

Motherhood is a gift. 

She is my gift.

Reaching and celebrating her 15th birthday is such a milestone for her and of my life as a mom and being a mother. I don't even know if I deserve to be called a wonderful one. But I know in my heart everyday, I'm always trying to be the perfect example of a woman she will become.

She and I will always be one intertwined soul. 

She will always have my heart.

15 and more years with her, will still be one great circus ride. Hell yah, it will be a great one for sure.

And we are ready for that ride! *wink!

15... bring it on!

xo,

Ai