A Reflection on Motherhood

 

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this May and in Poland, on May 26. I’d like to take a moment to reflect on what it means to be a mom here, and as a Filipina. It is a mix of both cultures, values, and ways of nurturing, yet motherhood carries one shared responsibility—no matter your background, culture, or upbringing.

Motherhood is a journey of many layers. It’s not just about raising children. It’s about becoming someone new while still holding on to who you were before.

It is waking up early to prepare for the day, working hard either at home, in an office, or both and carrying the invisible weight of emotional labor. It is answering questions, solving problems, offering hugs, setting boundaries, and worrying deeply in silence.

It is being the center of a family’s universe while sometimes feeling invisible in your own.

It is holding space for others while slowly learning to hold space for yourself.

Motherhood is a role that never clocks out. It teaches endurance, creativity, patience, and love that defies logic. It asks you to be strong on the days you feel most vulnerable. It teaches you to stretch your time, your heart, your limits and more often beyond what you thought possible.

But within that stretching, there is also growth.

In the whirlwind of responsibilities, it becomes easy to forget that behind “Mom” is a woman. A human being with dreams, needs, and her own story. Tiredness becomes normal. Rest, option. But slowly, we begin to understand: taking care of ourselves is not a luxury, it is part of the responsibility.

Because the more nourished we are, the more fully we can love. The more rested we are, the more deeply we can give. The more we honor our own humanity, the more we teach our children to honor theirs.

So here’s to the mothers who show up, day after day, with quiet strength and deep love.

Here’s to those still learning to give to themselves what they so freely give to others.

And here’s to the truth: motherhood is not just a role we play. It is a lifelong transformation and we are allowed to grow alongside the children we raise.

Cheers to all Mother's in the world!

xo,

Ai

15

 

That is my daughter's portrait photo I took few year ago.

Today, is her 15th birthday.

Where time goes?

Looking at this photo, it reminded me of a lot of her happy memories as a young girl. I could see magic in her eyes. A sparkle that exist in a child who believes in the magic of possibility. 

She always still has that sparkle that I thought it would dull out as she grow up, but she proved me wrong. I still see this spark inside of her. 

This is one gift I want her to hold dear in her heart, to keep believing in magic of possibilities.

It also flashes me back to the time I gave birth to her and the first time I get to hold her hands.

So many flashbacks mostly happy ones and I want to keep remembering it and store it in my memory forever. 

Those hazel brown eyes of hers profoundly showing how she is truly loved by many. It entails of her clear vision and goals in life - I hope, it won't change eventually or that being messed up by circumstances.

The second half of my life began is when I gave birth to her. I didn't stop being myself. However adding being a mom, mother and mommy to the new chapter of my life is something I wouldn't change for anything in this world.  It is full of excitements and challenges that I fondly huddle without remorse. The new role became my greatest teacher as she needed me in this world as an example. There are times, I am wondering If I am doing it right. But there is no school who could teach me how to become the perfect mom or that would provide me guidelines to follow. It is not a trial and error as well, but being there at the present moment and doing it right the first time. If you made a mistake, you get to learn from it.

15 is such a wonderful age - to learn, to explore and try new adventure. At the same time, an age I am afraid for she is still vulnerable and fragile. If I only I could protect her with all my might. But she also need to discover pain and how to overcome it. 

15 years of being a mom is something I am so grateful of and hoping to keep this wonderful bond of mother-daughter together. 

I'm so grateful of this motherhood for it resonates me the true definition of patience and as my sort of compass as I navigate through life.

Motherhood is a gift. 

She is my gift.

Reaching and celebrating her 15th birthday is such a milestone for her and of my life as a mom and being a mother. I don't even know if I deserve to be called a wonderful one. But I know in my heart everyday, I'm always trying to be the perfect example of a woman she will become.

She and I will always be one intertwined soul. 

She will always have my heart.

15 and more years with her, will still be one great circus ride. Hell yah, it will be a great one for sure.

And we are ready for that ride! *wink!

15... bring it on!

xo,

Ai

Raising an artist

The weather is warm..the birds are chirping at this early morning. My first coffee of the day is brewing....

My daughter is preparing herself for school. Looking at her, I could see a little girl slowly becoming a lady. Where time goes? It seems it was only yesterday when I gave birth to her. She perfectly growing up fast. If only I could keep her as a baby forever. 
Last Saturday I sent her to a drawing class. The topic is self-portrait drawing. It was a wonderfull time for her despite that she is a bit sick after an overnight camping with friends. See she is camping without us now. *sigh!
Without further hesitation, when I told her she has to attend drawing class today, she got too excited at once! I exclaim that it can be a little too hard for her for they have been running the class for 3 past sessions. Nonetheless, she was adamant.

And so we went.
It was my former colleague at the school (where I formerly teach English)  who run this drawing class at MY SCHOOL OF ENGLISH in the heart of Bytom, Poland.  I would link their facebook page below.

So, they started with free style of drawing their face. This is what she did first....

free style drawing 

Later they were asked to describe themselves. Their unique characteristics would somehow explains how they draw their faces. They wrote all the characteristics describing their personality all over the face they just drew. This is how  they draw their own self without yet proper technical instructions, And the mirror would aid them to look at their faces.

Teacher Agata explaining the technical part of drawing a face

After the lecture / explanation on how to draw a portrait technically and all, she came up with this self-portrait drawing.

Before and after drawing

How to raise an artist?

Oh well, we are all born one. Would you believe it?

 All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. 

-Pablo Picasso

That is true. I totallly agree with Pablo.

Give a child a simple object, he can transform that into something. Early on, we have to nourish their brain with all the creative energy and secretes those creative juices by letting them think of an idea. Let their imagination run freely. I usually read them books before bedtime or that telling them stories that would engage their brain with stimulating talks. Of course, they would come up with a lot of questions of how's and why's, but that is great. That means, you are doing great for you are stimulatinng their sense of thinking and imagination.

Let a child be bored. That is the best moment that their brain would start to do something. They would look for something they can do and they would eventually came up with  something unique ideas and inventions. My son is into Lego. Give him a lego, he can build stay in one corner for some hours and buil it into whatever he pops up in his brain and rebuil it again until he gets tired.

When my children would tell me, ' mum, I am bored!' I would usually answer them with 'that's good. Do something that would not make you feel bored '. Or that I would ask them such question, What do you want to do today? You want to feel that feeling of boredome all day long or would you like to do something together with mummy?

Usually they feel bored with the usual toys they are playing so I switch it more often when they were still a little. It is like shopping a new toy from their own box of collected toys. 

More often now, I could see that children find gadgets like tablets and smartphones fascinating other than the toys lying on their bedroom floor because it is instant engagement and entertainment. Their brain don't need to think more because it is there. They just have to push the button and voila! Imagination is lost and much more that sense of focus. Though I am not against giving a child gadgets for they both have their own tablets, but with limitations and full control of us parents.

So, I usually came up with an idea to try to persuade them to make something out of what they already have. 

Go for a walk in the park or do some sports together. It is always stress relieving. Lately, I am teaching my children how to play badminton for I am really into this sports since then other than running. Running just came lately. Letting them go active is one way for their brain to exercise the process of stimulating and working. Do some activity together and help me out with some household chores that they can do at their age like baking and cooking with me. Preparing the table before the meal time. Do things together that they like and you all like doing together. My children likes cycling and we usually cycle together when the weather is warm.

What usually stops us from becoming an artist because of pressure of the world we live in. When our parents and society tells us that being an artist like that painting all the time could not provide a food on the table or that would finance us for life, that stops us. Because our society tells us that having a fabulous career where it keeps us well financial is the best life we could ever have. 

I usually encourage my children to practice whatever you feel you love doing. My daughter is fun of drawing, sketching while my boy loves to build and design things out of ordinary things. So I'm supportive of them for that. Of course, first and foremost, studying must comes first. Putting a lot of new learnings would take them to places, that's how I encourage them. 

I stumbled upon this writings...

"It would be an awful world if everyone was an artist or a writer, the world needs so many different things. But I've seen a lot of artists die or killed off in my life, that is a sad thing. It seems our world is preparing children to serve the corporate masters of the world, to learn the things they need to learn to worship in the new religion, to pay their bills and fit the changing needs of the business world." (beladfarm.com)

 

True to its word. 

What stops us from becoming an artist is pressure of society. If you feel like your child is into arts or into some kind of sports, go and support it. But don't go overboard. I guess you know what I mean of that.

 

With my daughter, It is me who introduced her to the world of arts and drawings. She observes me doing a lot of art at an early age. I paint. I sew, I diy-ed a lot of things at home. I create a lot of things out of something.  That is my way of fighting boredome especially if you are a foreigner to a country where language is also so foreign to me. Arts is always been my way of expressing and divertion.

Picasso is really right. We are born an artist and creative. We have to remain to the challenge of how to remain like one once we grow up.

Now, how to raise an artist. Be like one! Don't stop.............

I think I did right in raising an artist. I hope so.

Have a good day!

xo Ai

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. Pablo Picasso
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/pablopicas169744.html

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. Pablo Picasso
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/pablopicas169744.html

How my children surprise me this Mother's day

 

Today is Mother's day in Poland. Dzień Matki as they call it in Polish. Every 26th of May is celebrated here. Why every 26th of May? you can read it here.

 Back in my country, it is celebrated every second Sunday of May. At first, I thought it is also celebrated the same day here. In Poland, It is always different.

I have to be honest,  I never knew the importance of this occasion not until I became a mum. Although, we always appreciate my mum and other mothers in the family every mother's day, but the impact of this is different now that I am also a mother.

Surprise attack:

Today, my children wakes me up early morning with my favourite breakfast all ready for me. My oatmeal and my favourite Vietnamese coffee. I'm wondering how they all managed to prepare all these. That got me terrified. Cooking these all in the burner plus preparing my coffee using  my phi filter with that hot water..wow!

What an early surprise from my children, Isn't it? Truly, I'm now a mum and they're growing up so fast. I'm wondering what time they woke up? they said before my alarms strikes..that means before 6:00 a.m.?   

* (gushing)

How sweet! hmmm..That's an an effort!

I took a quick snap just to remember this effort they made.

a smiley face? :-)

Sometimes, I am wondering if I deserve all these. I'm so grateful to have them in my life.There's one thing I'm sure of, I made the best decision to be a mother..not just a mother, but for being a mother in all sense of the words for these two sweetest children. 

It is true that motherhood has a tendency to make us away from our relationships with our friends and sometimes from our partners. Having our children, they are the reason that we need to bond together more as family. Relationships with friends will follow, just have to find time. 

Being a mother is hardwork. There is no pay nor raises and much more no holidays. You only get raises from stress and pressure from your children's demands. But having my children, seeing them growing up happy and well mannered, are all worth it.

If you're a mum here in Poland, make time to bond today with your family. After all, this is all about family celebrations. Make moments and store it in your heart.

To all mothers in Poland, Happy Mother's day!  Wszytkiego Najlepszego w dniu Matki! 

Enjoy!

xo

Ai

:-: Just being a mum... :-:

My children's first communion

The truth is nobody's prepared for motherhood. You just woke up one day that you have full hands,  learning how to put on a diaper, how to feed a small baby and the next thing, you're growing / raising a teenager.

My children both stole my heart from the day they were born to now stealing all my time and energy.

Truth be told, just being a mum is enough. It's enough, I say.

To all mothers in the world, Happy Mother's day!

Remember you are simply enough.

Note: In Poland, Mother's day is celebrated every 26th of May. That calls for another mother's day post.

Penpals : I'm into this Oh-So Happy Mail Kids !

My children's penpals from the USA sent these Easter greeting cards. It's not too late to exposed kids nowadays to the old ways of sending messages. #penpal #happymailkids

A photo posted by @polished_ai on Apr 2, 2016 at 10:09am PDT

With the modern/instant world of connecting people easily because of the internet. From emailing, chatting just to connect at once with everyone, with anyone in the world, at anytime of  the day, that makes me decide to let my children experience how it is to write to someone not using the modern word of gadgets, the internet like the social media. By letting them experience writing a friend through sending it by post - snail mail. 

I grew up having a pen pal and writing  regularly and more often to people in the other side of the world especially when I am so involved in a group of Philatelist - who loves to collect stamps. I owned a lot of stamps and I still have them back home. There is something about stamps for me then that really exciting and interesting. Some cost a lot and some really has greater value when it comes to history.

 Anyways, my children don't know how penpal writing works. I explained to them how it works before and it will still do work now. They got super excited especially the thought of going to the post office and sending it by themselves. Good thing though, a very close friend of mine who is now living in the USA is also up to the idea of snail mailing or letting our children write each other. 

I am a fan of fat mum slim blog especially when she announced on one of her post that she's going to run a  Oh-So Happy mail not only for mums but for kids as well. It seems though that every time I signed up to look for a penpal for my kids I am not lucky enough to get to the cut-off. So me and my friend decided to just let our children exchange mails. 

The picture above is the first Easter cards my children received. They were so happy , and so excited to send their reply with lots...lots...lots... of drawings. They're so cute! I'm telling you, my children really works hard for their first letter to reach America.  I hope they will get the idea, the lessons we wanted them to impart in their mind. To have that patience and connecting people isn't  just about a click of a finger. That there is more authenticity and honesty when you send a letter or a card to the person with your own handwriting for that is giving and sharing the real part of who you are.

Until now, I still do write to close friends and family. I still prefer this kind of thing than the social applications we have on our mobile phones. Call me old school by heart, but I still really am in some ways especially teaching my children still good old values.

How about you, are you up to this idea of happy mail especially for the kids? 

Have a wonderful day folks!

xxAi

Today

flower in sprinkler pot, a springtime activity for my daughter at home.

Calm.

Quiet. 

Sounds of the clock tickling. 

Head spinning.

Weather is warmer but rainy.

That is what the day today. How I wish to have such moments & weather at all time.  Spring isn't just a dream. Trees is slowly growing back its leaves.... Tulips poking out...Springtime is around the corner and that the world over here in Polandia would be colourful, wonderful ones again. 

I don't know how to describe my mood today. Sickly....nauseous....blurry! Sneezing here and there. My companion today is a box of tissue paper, a cup of green tea with lemon & honey and book that is a bit interesting to read then I couldn't concentrate. So, I don't know.

Life is mundane in a way but overall, I am happy and content. Life as a part time English teacher here in Poland is quite demanding. I didn't know being a teacher is that tough especially that I am dealing with small children and early teens that needed disciplining on proper classroom behavior. Everytime I step into my classes, I always remind myself to calm down, relax and patience...patience more patience! Oh my! How can I be patient, when with my children I tend to be impatient sometimes. And so, that is how life of a teacher. Being a second parent to this children (students). Quite challenging in someways and yet eats up a lot of energy. 

One time, my daughter asked me, ' Mum, why are you a teacher?'. I answered back with astonishment, ' oh dear! by choice'. Her face looked puzzled with  my answer, but that's the truth. There is no way for me to start a career here as a Psychologist or in the field of Industrial Psychology.  But by being a teacher in English. And hopefully from this, I will get to see the career path I would want take on here. Not the career maybe I had back then. Perhaps, one that is suiting to my likings and passion. Teaching isn't so much of my passion. I always takes the free minded path....more independent ones. Wherein I have the freedom to do things.  I don't know if it is a good way. However, that is where I am happy. The world of arts and crafts is something so ME.

Here, The English language is now a demanding one. Since, I speaks the language (not well maybe), so it's rather an edge for me. An opportunity. so I grabbing the chance! That is what I mean with my daughter 'by choice!'. I chose to be one for their is an opportunity.  With my passion in the field of arts, It is always there. It is a talent within me. I can do it, perform it at anytime and in any phase but of course I need to pursue it!

For now, whatever path I may take as long as I am happy with it, Then I'll have to go for it! The competition market  is tough especially if I your competing it with yourself. So,  rally hard not to loss the bout.

Carpe diem!

The book: Mama dookoła świata

Quick note for today:

Remember this post  SNEAK PEEK?

 It is because they featured me in a book about moms' around the world. I talked about being a Filipina mom living in Poland. The book is exciting but at the same time i am a bit nervous what the readers reaction about what i talked there. I just said about my experiences being a Filipina, our culture, traditions and what i practiced/adapted  at our Polish home.

If your in Warsaw area tomorrow or living in nearby Warsaw please do drop by in Empik Junior for the book signing and launching of the book Mama dookołą świata by Ofelia Grzelińska (Mama around the world).

See pictures below for the exact address and a little about the book....

I hope you will grab a copy and let me know..though the book is all in Polish language but maybe in the future there would be copies in english.

Funny conversation with my daughter

Yesterday i had a funny conversation with my daughter.

me: (while looking at myself in the mirror) Oh geesh! i think i gain a lot of weight lately Iza especially after easter. I have big tummy now.

Iza: oww! don't worry mommy, i have big tummy too. 


that left me laughing out loud. Lately she has so funny reactions to things and in between our conversations. But i find her opinions true with all honestly. Just like this conversation too two weeks ago...




me:  (while watching my favorite korean teleseries) I can't take this scenes anymore Izabela. It seems I will have heart attack. 


Izabela: So you turn off your laptop. 


that left me burst out laughing..but she is right..why making trouble with myself when i can turn it off. hahahah!


I really like the humor of children. Funny yet true.

Look! something flowery

Look! what my pretty daughter did to to these people :-(

One of their daily activities at home is painting. So one afternoon, they are painting together with her dad, after a while, i just heard them laughing. And so, i found my daughter painting the faces of these people from the magazine. She made some stories behind them like this woman....

I got a bad headache today!  

this man....

How cool is my head? huh!

Sometimes she likes to makes stories to things and with people she saw or watch. She is that imaginative. I hope it will not go wild.

After, she asked me to make something for her. And so we end up with these..............flowery things.

flower headbands for her and some brooch for me too. 

I simply love red..and so as this one <3

Yellow is for my daughter....

thinking of putting both red and yellow together in one headband. I think it's cool. 

Or simply just this one. But i prefer to have this as a brooch for me.

Those are simple things we did with my daughter. I would take a picture of us wearing those flowery things. I can't take pictures of daughter now since she is sick and not in the mood for picture taking. owww! 

Have a blessed holy week everyone!

Growing

My children are growing so fast. I am happy but a bit sad coz i will surely miz those baby days when they are so little and so much dependent on me. (*sigh)

My little girl, Izabela is getting wittier and joyful little girl. She exhibits now a world on her own. There are things she doesnt want my help anymore. Not unless, she can't do it by herself. A good sign that she is really involved now with the world around her.

My baby boy Jan, he is now 12 months old this 18th of the month. That in a week or so, he will be one year old, and he will be blowing his first birthday candle. Time flies so fast indeed. I got lost track of time. This morning I just realized he is now a toddler. Exercising some independency too at his age.

He's becoming a "real person", Like, wanting to play on his own at his favorite corner in the house, wanting to grasp every things he sees interesting. He walks as fast as he could to get things he wants. That little boy is becoming a little man now.

Isn't it exciting to see them growing that fast? and yet i know some part of me wanting them not to grow really that fast so I could still be with them and wanting me more often. But we can't force time and its stage of life. Everyone has to come to terms with each phase of life.

Nevertheless, I am joyful for everything happening to my children. I could see that it worth all our effort to brought them up as wonderful and happy individual. I hope in the future they will not be influenced by this crazy world we live in. That makes me sad sometimes thinking about them growing and thinking about how crazy the world is. That is life though, just that we have to and they have to enjoy every phase of what life is offering.

I hope all is still well with all of you. Haven't blogging much lately. There is just so many things to tackle in real life and no much time to blog and brag about it. I hope to be back more often here, and thank you for still sticking on me inspite of my long absence.

Challenging responsibilities: Motherhood

With my baby on my lap as I am trying to engrave something for today, i'm still trying to compose myself what to write next. Life is either too boring or too exciting to talk about. Today, is just one boring day with my too exciting challenging life.

No matter how we live life each day it is a challenge. Being a mom for example, is exactly the greatest challenge I am now experiencing. Before i thought I'm not capable of being one but they are all right motherly instinct will just kick in. There is no right school that can teach you how to be a great mom or a parent. Everything is up to you and of course it goes with knowing your responsibilities. Everyday is a challenging task actually when you're a mom especially a stay-at-home-mom like me. From putting baby to sleep, feeding, bathing, changing diapers & of course feeding her with good values by doing things as an example.

I admit, there were days that I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs and say 'waaahhhhh! I want to quit!' but that is not only one of the many issues a mother is facing. You get to see the real you when you are given a difficult and challenging task. Now, I came to like every challenges I have with my baby. Every moments too, is an opportunity for me not only to get to know her but myself better And to test my limits as to where i can hold on.

Just awhile ago, i saw two little girls from school with school bags on i think they are on the way home. I thought about when time comes my little girl will be in school and by that time knows she can do things on her own like walking her way home from school. I think it would another challenge and more challenging one. For sure that age, she will be independent and maybe some of her thinking & opinions contradicts with mine. Sorry to say, sometimes my mind just flips like crazy. Thinking so advance when it comes to raising my little one & how she would grow up someday. It's a natural dilemma of mother's and parents alike.

I truly know, i am not given this challenge that i don't know how to handle & for sure i can be responsible to surpass everything.

How about you? is there any challenging events in your life that you're afraid of handling or facing? whatever that challenges are, knows that you can do it..we can do it!