Letting go of pain

Olafur Arnalds songs playing in the backgound...coffee is brewing....the weather is a mix of sunny and breezy. And, I feel like things are getting a bit too crazy right now. everything around me is rather too noisy, that I can't hardly think of myself, what to do and what to focus on.

In this quiet MOnday morning I am reminded that I need to let go of the clutter in my life.

The silence and the soothing music of Olafur Arnalds made me think of how wonderful to get some quiet time even for just some hours.

There are too many things in my life recently that stress me out, from emotional  to material - work, home, relationships, duties, family problems, friendship issues, painful experiences. these are things we have no control of but we must let go.

As for me, I must first Let go of  pain.

I used to think of myself as someone who doesn't get hurt, However, I am aware that pain is inevitable.

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

I've learned that, I create and maintain the problems because It gives that sort of identity in me. That the more I hold on to it and keep replaying past mistakes , allows me to have that feeling of shame and regret to shape my actions in the present. Tendency I cling to frustrations and worry much about what is coming - the future. That holds a lot of stress in my mind and body. That results to recent feeling of weakness and more health issues at present. Ajahn Chah's words lured us that letting go of pain may never be that simple yet every moment and chances is the best time to practice letting go and be peaceful. 

For me, to slowly let go of pain is to :

1. learn a new skill. Instead of dwelling of the skill you never mastered, learn a new trade or tricks instead.

2. Change you perception and concept with how you deal with things in life. - accept it as a blessing in disguise.

3. Cry it out - I only have few close best friends that I can really rely on and cry on, And I can be open to them with what I feel and with the pain I'm experiencing. It feels so great knowing someone knows what you feel, instead of judging you but telling you both sides of the coins. And, according to medical experts crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress. So cry it out...don't be shy. After all we are all human. To be honest, I don't know anymore how many times I cry my hearts out to few very close friends, and I could feel they are a bit tired of my drama. (Hey!  you know who you are *wink)

4. Channel your discontentment into a something positive actions. Instead of lurking in your room crying and still feeling the pain, go out and try to look for some positive things to do like running, meeting friends over coffee, do voluntary woks or find a new job opportunities.

5. Pray, meditate and do yoga and other exercises. - Praying and being in my best mental self early morning is one factor that really gives me that positive vibes within the day. Doing and engaging in an active sports decreases stress hormones and releases happy ones - endorphins. It truly improves your state of mind and thinking.

6. Make a list of your accomplishments- no matter how simple it is, write it down, and add up things in your list everyday. I've learned that there are lots of things I 've accomplished lately that I neglect on recognizing. It was amazing and I feel so proud of myself.

7. Visualize a box in your head labeled it "expectations"  - Whenever you start dwelling on how things should have been or should be, try shelving them into this box of expectations.

8. Stay focus. Something that you can actually control rather than you can't. I know it is hard. I'm still struggling on this from time to time but yeah, just keep on doing.

9. Express your self to a creative outlet like writing , blogging or colouring, drawing, paintinga and DIY projects.   I always express my feelings through writing and doing creative things.  I always see to it I have notepad with me to jot down things i have in mind at once and what I thought about on things I've heard and seen.  It truly helps to focus and to stay positive.  It is like a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to let go of the feeling.

I know, these are things we already know.  but with all the distractions around us, we need to be reminded and stop holding on things that is unnecessary to keep us going to find peace and making pain bearable. After all, we only want happiness and peace, don't we?

(series of my notes of letting go......)

moving forward...

fir tree

Here I am. Staring at a blank wall infront of me. thinking. contemplating. It is frosty outside yet the sun is out. Waiting for my tea to sip in.... a lot of questions in mind..actually random questions.  What to do? where to go next? What to do first? a lot of plans here and there....  To be honest, these are keeping me a bit insane.I am merely under the state of homesickness. I hate December months...I am such not a fan of Christmas holidays. If you are living far from home..you will understand me why. Although I am getting used to it now.  

Sometimes I am in the state of oblivion. at times, sick , bored and tired of the monotonous life here.  Sometimes I wonder if I really fit in to this world and the culture. Sometimes I find the answers within..and most of ten, I DON'T! Pretty obscure and nonsense. 

Alright, alright.... I do want to sound melodramatic. What I'm trying to say is that, I am still foraging in the deepest corners of my brain what to write and how to make this blog alive again. I find that blogging lately bores me. My entries are boring....purely nothing! There is no much motivation to it.. it is more of random and no sense of passion. Although, I am still figuring out as I go on with this blog. 

Most friends happens to bump into my blog encourages me to write more of my personal experiences living here in Poland and of course my interest in the field of arts.  Lately, they miss that side of me... the me, that can unselfishly share what I have and what I experienced. In all honesty, I miss that side of me as well. The passion is there , but the motivation isn't there anymore. I've come to realized there is so much things going on lately with me personally that I have to reconcile first and foremost. Before dragging myself back into the limelight of my passion.  When will I learn and be in the moment anyway? I consider myself always been blessed in life when it comes to opportunities to grow and that I am thankful. It is in this way that I feel like I needed to move forward.  As I wrote a letter to myself and last letter to my dad few months back, that I have to move forward and continue believing on things that I know I can do better.  My friends are right...I've lost that passion lately..I miss that old self. They miss the Ai in me. Now, this is me. Moving forward and trying to get better each day. And hopefully I could blog more honestly again with my thoughts in mind and a heart with so much passion for everything.  For now, let me say.......I am at my ME TIME! - figuring out how to make this blog alive again and hopefully share things I know while living here in Poland. 

The next blog entries, I promised are all about  moving forward............blogging to the next level.

Opps..my tea is ready! 

In pensive mood :-)

xxAi

In that Land of unicorns

 

We are all dreamers. Aren't we all?

We dreamed of something, somebody...sometimes and knowing one will never come..never come true. 

Dream- is a free thing.  That gives us freedom and be happy for awhile.

It is raining and cold. I'm sitting, staring blankly on the old brick wall... thinking and suddenly I feel pain. Pain for secretly inside it hurts and aching. For I will never deny that I want to be by your side. Mine is a dream that should never come true. Hoping a day there will be a chance to have you in our own real time.

Enough to let things left unspoken. Let time decide and speak for itself.

For today, I'm daydreaming of  that land of unicorns. The land of unicorns, where I'm truly yours and that we all have the time unimaginable. In a world , where there's no apprehensions and doubts.

Reality bites! You couldn't be mine. Maybe in that land of unicorns.

Today

flower in sprinkler pot, a springtime activity for my daughter at home.

Calm.

Quiet. 

Sounds of the clock tickling. 

Head spinning.

Weather is warmer but rainy.

That is what the day today. How I wish to have such moments & weather at all time.  Spring isn't just a dream. Trees is slowly growing back its leaves.... Tulips poking out...Springtime is around the corner and that the world over here in Polandia would be colourful, wonderful ones again. 

I don't know how to describe my mood today. Sickly....nauseous....blurry! Sneezing here and there. My companion today is a box of tissue paper, a cup of green tea with lemon & honey and book that is a bit interesting to read then I couldn't concentrate. So, I don't know.

Life is mundane in a way but overall, I am happy and content. Life as a part time English teacher here in Poland is quite demanding. I didn't know being a teacher is that tough especially that I am dealing with small children and early teens that needed disciplining on proper classroom behavior. Everytime I step into my classes, I always remind myself to calm down, relax and patience...patience more patience! Oh my! How can I be patient, when with my children I tend to be impatient sometimes. And so, that is how life of a teacher. Being a second parent to this children (students). Quite challenging in someways and yet eats up a lot of energy. 

One time, my daughter asked me, ' Mum, why are you a teacher?'. I answered back with astonishment, ' oh dear! by choice'. Her face looked puzzled with  my answer, but that's the truth. There is no way for me to start a career here as a Psychologist or in the field of Industrial Psychology.  But by being a teacher in English. And hopefully from this, I will get to see the career path I would want take on here. Not the career maybe I had back then. Perhaps, one that is suiting to my likings and passion. Teaching isn't so much of my passion. I always takes the free minded path....more independent ones. Wherein I have the freedom to do things.  I don't know if it is a good way. However, that is where I am happy. The world of arts and crafts is something so ME.

Here, The English language is now a demanding one. Since, I speaks the language (not well maybe), so it's rather an edge for me. An opportunity. so I grabbing the chance! That is what I mean with my daughter 'by choice!'. I chose to be one for their is an opportunity.  With my passion in the field of arts, It is always there. It is a talent within me. I can do it, perform it at anytime and in any phase but of course I need to pursue it!

For now, whatever path I may take as long as I am happy with it, Then I'll have to go for it! The competition market  is tough especially if I your competing it with yourself. So,  rally hard not to loss the bout.

Carpe diem!

Goodbye Lucile!

You will always be special part of me. You taught me a lot to embrace and enjoy life even more. 

To be more optimistic towards everything. That being in pain is not about suffering but accepting.

You are an angel in human disguise. 

You shown me more how to love and keep my faith amidst everything.

As what the book five people you meet in heaven says, "Each of us was in your life for a reason. 

You many not have known the reason at the time, and that is what heaven is for. For understanding your life on earth."

Today, marks supposedly your 20th birthday. We know you have a great celebration now in heaven with Jesus. We will miss you.  I would surely miss you..our long chat over YM and FB.  However, we are happy because you are in God's place. He needed you the most there

. Hasta la vista!

I ♥ you so much inday Lucile Gee! have a wonderful journey there in heaven... my dear cousin and my little sister. i will keep my promise to always smile and be an inspiration to many. ♥ ♥ ♥

 *my cousin Lucile died of leukemia last Dec. 2, 2011 at the tender age of 19.  She is a nursing student. She inspires me in so many ways. She's a great warrior- a ninja.Who fought hard with the sickness. She never complains instead she painted all the faces of people she met with a smile. She maybe gone but for us she never left...she is inside our hearts. She taught us the meaning of suffering with love. She will always be part of me. It maybe the end of her journey here on earth and yet still the beginning of her life eternal. 

I wrote this blog because she is my number 1 fan here in my site. if she gets to read this entry, I know she is giggling. Today, marks her 20th birthday. So if any of you read this entry. Please do a short prayer for the eternal repose of her soul. 

Happy Monday :-)

I am hoping that everyone had a fun weekend. Mine was a bit busy, exhausting and boring. We didn't enjoy much our Saturdays and Sundays because of our still cold weather here in Poland. 

*sigh 

I do not know when can we actually feel the heat. Though, spring has finally sprung here. Hopefully to catch spring in the park next weekend before the lenten week and before everyone would be busy preparing stuffs for easter feast. I love easter here...really very feastive and well celebrated.  

A bit sad when i read the tweet of very purple person Novita that Japan is experiencing earthquake again. My prayer goes out to Japan. Knowing I also have friends who are working and living there. Other than that, I am very asian. So, my heart goes out everyone in Asia. I called hubby and said it might hamper our planned trip this year in Asia particularly to my home country - Philippines.  But then I reasoned out that anywhere in the world is not actually safe. So he would not be scared to travel in asia this time with two kids in tow. I just actuall miz asian setting, much more the foods and the culture. Home is really where the heart is. There is no place like home. 

Today, nothing special . just ordinary Monday mornings. busy with my daughter early morning and doing some activities with my son. He still a bit sick with colds but not something bad. Anyways, i hope you all had a wonderful Monday.

Happy Monday!

I think I am ready

Tomorrow is the day. Big day for me. I am embracing today and the days to come. 

Gone are the fears and frustrations. 

I am ready. I think. 

Tomorrow, i am scheduled for ovarian cyst operation.  

So much so, i do not want to elavorate everything in here. But i am crossing my fingers. 

Some may think & say, that this is just going to be an easy procedure, but it's a big deal for me exactly. I never had operation in my whole life. I hate being cut, seeing blood and being in the hospital. Even when i was pregnant I am really trying my best to be healthy and give birth naturally. and I did! 

I have those fears, maybe because since i was a child, i'm sickly and often spending time in the hospital.  So i got those trauma.  Though my doctors here assured me that it is going to be an easy procedure.  3 days in the hospital and home recovery after. I would have laparoscopic surgery, not the open surgery.  I am all qualified for this operation. I passed all  the laboratory test with flying colors. So, they say I am ready. 

The moment i knew i would be operated, I was so nervous, frantic, hysterical...i do not know...really full of  emotions.  Comforting words and support from my husband, family and friends made me realized I should not be afraid. It will pass and that everything is in God's hand.  

Life is really full of unexpected things especially when u least expected it.  

I never though about being operated. The last time I was diagnosed of ovarian cyst was when I was 22 years old . But i was not operated then since the cyst just dissolved by itself.  And now, coming back in full bloom in the other ovary.  I do not know yet, how much percentage after the operation that it will not come back anymore. I am putting everything in God's hand. I am very optimistic about life and i know whatever it is..it all happening for a reason.  

Blogging would be a set back for awhile. but will keep you all posted for the results. 

So for tomorrow wish me all the best for the success of my operation.  

I am ready. I think so.

and so I miss her ( a repost)

She left and I left, the best relationship I ever had ended, well not quite, but yeah I did...somehow...

She told me that she will never tired of loving me and that made me cry a little more, almost every minute I think of her, and I wonder how on earth will I ever survive...away... away from her and from all of them. 

Well such a strong person like her can't be put down by such a simple challenge of distances and friendship... I think.  

She loved me, conditionally unconditionally. 

It's hard to say but one thing for sure she really loved me.  And she loved everybody I love, my friends and of course my family. 

Such a weird kind of friendship one might say, amazing for some, and some are bothered as well... of all the things I've lost of the past few years and having her in return was worth it.  She became my strength and I became hers.

A Psychiatrist once said, you allow other people to touch you little and to hold on to you, you let them love you, for it uplifts and inspires their soul. 

I do not know if I am making sense, it is all random thoughts anyway... I miss her so much!

I miss hanging with her in our favorite spot under that magnificent bridge, talking to her before sleeping, eating, going out with her, exchanging opinions over some issues, talking to her over a cup of coffee or over her wonderful version of hot chocolate drinks, watching our favorite movie together.  I miss her terribly.  I miss her once glowing smiles.

I miss my bestfriend........ soon we will be together under that bridge again perhaps or at london bridge or golden bridge...our dream meeting place again

But then, we never know when will we meet again........we know it will come, in God's own time. 

(reposting this from my old blog site)

Controling thoughts

I really need to remind myself with this video..





Just felt so lost and so impatient with everything lately.

blogging

Ample time needed to make this blogsite alive again. I think i have really not make the word BUSY as an excuse not to blog lately. I should blog! I should....................

miss this little world of mine in the cyberspace.

hope to be back real soon.

i hope.

I will be alright

I am feeling pathetic today. I do not know why really:-) that makes it sound like, I am desperate, desperate with this awful cold weather. That makes up this mood maybe. Sometimes (most of the time), this ugly weather here provides me few interesting and whimsical deathy thoughts. yey! Oh whew!

I am just bored :-O

So do you ever sometimes feel extremely bored? that you do not know what to do with yourself?

There were so many conversations , counselling, and bombarded too lately with so many failed relationship, separations from people close to me. That makes me feel sad nowadays. There is nothing I can do for them but to listen but sometimes listening is so draining. It sap all your energy. It breaks your heart and makes you miserable too. I hate break-ups...so hate negative thoughts and situations. All these things is so horrifying to me. I have to do something to erase all these negative thoughts or else I'll get crazy first. I should not get affected by all these.

At least, I am thankful my life is all well. So please let me strike that backspace..erase! erase!

deleted!

sorry peeps:-D this is all what I got into my head these days. Now, I am letting it all out.

I will be alright...i hope soon!

This year...

First post for the year..yey!

Oh well, all is doing well. 2010 I think promises us with lots of great thing not only for me but for my children and betterment of my family. Hurrah! we survived another year. More hopes for this year and the coming years. Hopefully trying to get back on track after having baby number 2. As of now, I am working on with the things i wanted to do for myself.... getting back with my hobbies, getting addicted with my newfound hobby and wanting to explore more other options that would somehow satisfy my indulgence with my recent activities. Hopefully this would be a great career for me. I am crossing my fingers for that.

This year I am slowly.....but i think really had to work hard on learning this Polish language. I have all the resources now but i really need to be fluent with this or else i could not do things normally.

There's so many things I wanted to do only that I am taking things slow and one step at a time. I just wanted to be sure with every step I am making. I know i will not fail if I will have the courage coupled with hardwork, everything will surely be successful.


This year.............. i do not know. One thing I know I am ready to face whatever...either all things fail or would be succesful, i know THIS YEAR is going to be a great year for me.

Cheers to that! xxx

For today!

See! I changed my layout today. I just had the chance to transfer everything after some days of rationalizing if i will change my sites layout again. Since, some pictures can't be very visible in the previous layout. Oh well, I think this is better. I will be posting more of my photography next time.

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For today, allow me to mourn for I lost a great friend and a former colleague at work.

To you Ms. Ruby, you will always be in my hearts. Your laughter will always be a sweet music to our ears. God has you in His keepings.

We love you!

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Tomorrow would be my daughter's 2nd birthday. I do not know if I will pursue doing a birthday give-away since my sponsor can only give me a limited prize. And I want to be fair to my readers. Anyhoo, tomorrow willl be Iza's big day but we will celebrate it on Satuday.

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That's all for today!
Stay happy and well.

This stomach pain would kill me someday

Just a quick note before I hit the sheets.

Today, I've been to three different doctors ( internist, gynecologist and surgeon) for proper check-up of my stomach. I've been experiencing stomach pain for the past weeks and I think this is not normal anymore. So, tomorrow I will know what would be the next thing to do aside from the endoscopy test. Though, I am taking some medicines now to stop the pain. I hope everything is fine with me.

I think this stomach pain would really kill me someday'.

Teraz albo nigdy ( It's NOW OR NEVER)

During down time we can't help but think of where we were & what we are..... far away home, the usual stuff & the only few real friends who were there amidst distance & communication.

There were really moments..as in desperate moments where I would want to pack things and soak myself in tears coz i felt like my world froze infront of me. Life is a big canvas and sometimes I felt like I miz a lot of current opportunities & i just isolate myself in the four world of home.

Freedom! is what i could think of sometimes. Not because I am imprisoned, but freedom to freely do things sometimes on my own without the aid of someone. Sometimes, i want to liberate myself from being so dependent even on simple things that I know i can do on my own.

Guess what? I made some clear plans on what to accomplish for the coming days. Effort is the name of the game.

*Go back & review the basics of learning the polish language. At least, save an hour a day or some hours a week to learn.

* Unleash the power within me. I have to take off that mask of shyness in me and be proud of who i am and where I came from.

* Determine to accomplish somethings not just in words & thoughts but in action.

* Never underestimate capabilities and others help.

*And of course, I should not let the barriers of language cripples me.

Again, will power (G is right..kocham cię!). Take it slowly. Slowly i could gain that freedom and not dependent on almost everything. All it takes is a little adventure, trial & error to blend myself with the polish lifestyle. When will I do it? I have to do it NOW! or I will never ever learn things. Though i know i am still in stage of infancy when it comes to grasping the polish culture and lifestyle. But then, everyday experience is part of the process.

Let me remind myself everyday........Teraz albo nigdy?! (it's now or never?!)

Pointless struggle

Been so pointless in all ways. Do not know why :-(

I just thought that way to myself these days. Pointless in making some issues which is so irrelevant to the world I am trying to fit in. Wanting to get on top on my own, but how? Want to think rationally that I thought I am. Then, things deceives me and lessons from the experience proved that I am wrong in some sense. Which is right anyway? So do i really fit in here or in that world they are making? tell me! Whatever I am battling now..it would be a waste of your time to know. Just cheer with me as I am still discovering the things on my own.

Let me play my last card anyway............

just bored

I'm lazy therefore i'm not productive.

I'm bored that makes me boring!
I'm eating yet i'm starving.
I'm happy but quite sad.
I am loved & so I have loved.
I'm broke but I'm grateful.
I'm beautiful and that makes me pretty! (bleeh)
I'm narcissistic, so i'm insane. (heh)

Do you understand?

I got you! Now, i'm not bored. *wink

What I fancied for long

While at home & not working, where my interest in writing developed into an abiding passion.

I fancied about writing for a long time. Could hardly find time to sort my thoughts & the like maybe because I was busy living life like hell in the confines of my work. But, I do keep something like a diary with me. To keep track of my daily expenses, meetings, travels & things I needed to do & accomplished at the same time on deadlines.

My fascination started way to long ago... just when I was introduced in the world of fantasy books & bed time stories. For me, it is a surreal feeling being able to travel through reading and how the authors wrote those that knocks off the readers minds. Seems like there's a kind of potion that could stick you to it.

Now that I have all the time, I could express things through blogging. I'm not a good writer..am still a novice in the writing world. Nevertheless, I manage to keep going and just freely express what stock into mind. After all, what I'm writing are just my opinions on some topics & learnings of my everydays....and I could be ME when I scribble some notes on somethings that lurks in mind.

Still has that admiration for some who could really write profoundly and who has no fears to give opinions on some issues. In fact, I have list of authors that I so admire. Moreover, I still needed more or less training on basic literary writing although I survived in my essay class with an A grade. But that doesn't count! all the more I am not that good in my grammar since english is not my native toungue but a second language in the place where i was. However, I believed that writing and writing is way of practicing my literary skill and polishing my english. After all, practice makes you perfect!

what yah think?

Eating the Filipino way

Today, i stumble upon an article about a Filipino child in Canada while googling something about Filipinos living in Poland. Oh whew! the article is quite interesting it is about a Filipino child who was punished by a lunch program monitor after this person didn't like the way the child eats with his spoon and fork. This is some of the stories in the article...

Luc Cagadoc’s table behaviour is traditionally Filipino; he fills his spoon by pushing the food on his plate with a fork, his mother, Maria Theresa Gallardo, says.

But after being punished by his school’s lunch program monitor more than 10 times this year for his mealtime conduct — including his technique — the seven-year-old told Gallardo said last week that he was too embarrassed to eat his dinner.

“Mommy, I don’t want to eat anymore,” Gallardo says Luc told her at the kitchen table April 11. “My teacher is telling me that eating with a spoon and fork is yucky and disgusting.”

When he eats with both a spoon and fork, instead of only one utensil, the Grade 2 student said the lunch monitor moves him to a table to sit by himself.

and a nice reaction from a Filipino too....

Is there anything wrong with using both fork and spoon? When I was a kid, I was taught by my mother how to properly use spoon and fork. When I entered the seminary, I learned the more gracious way of using both utensils through our “social graces” seminar. Using fork and spoon in eating is a cultural mores just like the use of chopsticks in other Asian countries. Saying that such manner of eating is wrong is like saying that our culture is wrong. How much more if they see us Filipinos eat “kamayan” style? I love to eat with my bare hands especially when sumptuous native meal is served (that would be tuyo, daing or salted egg with kamatis). Does that make me a pig or lesser human? Certainly not!

Four years ago, Bishop Eijk of the Diocese of Groningen, Netherlands (communio partner of our diocese) paid a visit to our diocese. Among the many affairs he attended was the Diocesan Youth Day. We ate “kamayan” style as it was a barrio-fiesta type of celebration. The couple who were part of Bishop Eijk’s entourage were betting whether or not he would use his hands to eat as it was anathema to do so in Netherlands. They were surpirsed when he began to wash his hands and he ate with his bare hands. I admired him for his flexibility and respect to a tradition. He did not feel degraded to eat with his hands and more so, he did not hesitate to do what was anathema in his homeland. More so, during meals at the Bishop’s Residence, he ate with both spoon and fork.

Punishing Luc for using spoon and fork is wrong. Saying that his manner of eating is not proper is worst. It is plain discrimination under the guise of table etiquette. Does using spoon and fork turn us into lower beings and turn the Canadians who eat with fork and knife into higher beings? The answer is NO!

I hope that this is just an isolated case. Otherwise, some Canadians are bigots and racists.



How many times I saw similar articles of racism, degrading some elses culture and behaviour. I have a little fear..fear that my child might be experiencing the same treatment in the future. Of course I will not let anyone punished my child to no degree of sin. Hmmm..It fears me coz we are considering Canada to be our next home since most relatives are there. But I guess, wherever you go treatment of the like are everywhere. It is not with the country but with the people living and running the place. I just truly disheartened upon reading this though I heard and read this article in the news before. Now, it bothers me since I have a child.

What i heard more is that the mom filed a formal complaint to the school but then the school administrator just bluntly said...

"Madame, you are in Canada. Here in Canada you should eat the way Canadians eat."

Oh my! oh my...wtf are they talking about?! Yes! they lived in such country but can they just respect the right and the culture where the child was brought up?! All I do now is SIGHHHH! HMMMM..... why there are people as hell as that? can they just behave in their own cell?lol

It's this blatant refusal to accept the subtleties of other cultures that makes me pessimistic about issues like racism and immigration reform.

Thank God, i am living here in Poland for sometime now but I never heard stull like " This is Poland, speak Polish", or 'if you don't like it, go back to where you came from."

When was the last time you laughed at a joke that perpetuated a stereotype about a specific culture?

There's always going to be some level of intolerance in our society; I've come to accept that. And maybe we are making baby steps toward inclusion and tolerance. But hello?! the kid is seven years old. I hope my little girl will not feel ashamed for who she is. And I hope eventually, or hopefully through that "everything is embarassing to me" phase of her life, that she learns to embrace both her dad and my culture down the line rather than repudiate it.

I hope nobody will ever makes her ashamed that her mother is an asian - a Filipino (who originally eats by her hands *wink) sa puso at sa wika. Amen!

Now, who would want to put down on my culture & to where I came from? I'll show you who we are. with my fist as strong and hard as bohol bread, you will know who you are talking with. lol!

What I want for a guy?

I came accross this rants in the net today. I laugh out loud all by myself since it's so timely that it fully concides with what I been thinking.. These has been my prayers before & what I been so thankful 'till now.... I guess it's been all girl's wish to have someone who could take their blues away & simply understand & accept them for what & who they are.

These are my A list of things for a guy...

I want a guy.....
who would move the hair from my eyes and then kiss me..

who'd hold my hand in line at the mall or anywhere and make all the girls jealous (hahaha)

Someone who would sing to me at random moments songs that remind him of me or us.

who would let me sleep on his chest..

a guy who would get mad at someone if they called me ugly or was mean to me.

I want someone who would call me several times a day if he went away

Someone who would let me share the latest gossips to him and then would just smile and agree at everything I said.

He would mimic me if I did or say something funny just to make me laugh

He would tell all his friends about me and smile when he did it.

We'd share an umbrella in a pouring rain, and wouldn't mind if we got wet.

He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends.

I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Year's eve and count stars with me.

Who is willing to stay home with me on a Friday or Saturday night just to watch old movies or cartoons with me.

Someone who would tell me I'm beautiful & sexy, but not too often lest it gets to my head..

Someone who would try to make me laugh so much..

Who would bring me a glass of water when we both wake up in the middle of the night.

Someone who would take me as I am..

Someone I could laugh with and cry with..

Someone who would listen to my silliest jokes & never ending life's drama

Someone who would be my best friend and would never break my heart...

Oh well, who would have thought that I will have him now! He is G, an excited dad & a proud hubby to a Filipina wifey.

wish the wish you wish! been so grateful that I did found him & we are finally together at last! Prayers really do come true.
How about you? you have A list of things too you want for a guy? Oh well, you don't have to list all what you want but instead lift it all up to our maker and everything else will surely follow.