Happy Father’s Day to the One Who Shows Up, Always

They say the most important decision in life is choosing the right partner. Every day, I'm reminded that I chose the right one. He isn’t perfect nor I'm far from a perfect wife, but he’s perfectly made for me, and together we’ve built a beautiful partnership in marriage.

Old photos of us, when our kids are still in their toddler years
The challenging years of being first time parents.

He always makes sure I get to my travel destinations safely whether by train, plane, or whatever means of transport I’m taking. He checks that I depart safely, arrive safely, and fully enjoy every journey. He supports me as I build this life, these experiences, for myself and for us.

Today, I’m reminded once again that he truly is the one for me because I see how devoted and hands-on he is as a father to our two wonderful children. Since day one, I’ve witnessed the kind of dad he is, and how his relationship with our kids continues to grow, inspiring him to become an even better person.

He starts by acknowledging my weaknesses and fills the gaps with love, respecting me, my boundaries, not just because I’m his wife, but because I’m a woman worthy of respect and honesty. There’s no ghosting, no gaps in communication. Instead, he makes sure everything is grounded in faith. Our children were born out of love and he reminds me of that every single day.

With that being said, no wonder he is truly stepping into his role as a father because he has a strong foundation: his faith and a clear mindset about the sacredness of love in marriage, as we nurture our children into adulthood.

Today is Father’s Day here in Poland.

Wszytkiego najlepszego z okazji Dnia Ojca! ❤️

Let’s normalize acknowledging and lifting up the wonderful dads of our children, and our own fathers too. 💙

Gratitude in Every Season: Embracing Life with a Thankful Heart

There are countless things in life to be thankful for—many of which we tend to overlook in the hustle of our everyday routines. We often wait for the "big" blessings—promotions, breakthroughs, victories—to trigger our gratitude. But the truth is, every day offers quiet gifts that deserve our recognition: a peaceful morning, a kind word, a safe journey, or simply the ability to breathe freely and feel the sun on our skin.

A friend once shared these wise words with me:

“Life is short,live it. Love is rare, appreciate it. Anger is harmful, release it. Fear is paralyzing, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them.”

This simple yet profound statement has stayed with me, reminding me of how essential it is to pause and reflect on what truly matters. Let’s unpack each part, because within these lines lies a guide to living more meaningfully.

Life is Short, Live It!

We’ve all heard this before, but have we truly taken it to heart? Life is fragile and unpredictable. Time slips through our fingers whether we’re ready or not. So let’s stop waiting for the "perfect moment" to chase our dreams, reconnect with someone we love, or do something we’ve always wanted to do. Every moment is a gift, and we honor that gift by choosing to live it fully.

Love is Rare. Appreciate It

In a world where relationships can feel fleeting, genuine love, in any form is a treasure. Whether it’s romantic love, the loyalty of a friend, or the warmth of family, let’s not take it for granted. Appreciate the people who stay, support, and uplift you. Tell them they matter. Show them you care.

Anger is Harmful, Release It!

Anger, if held too long, becomes a heavy burden. It consumes more of us than it does the person we’re angry at. Releasing anger doesn’t mean we deny our feelings. It means we choose peace over bitterness. We create space for healing, growth, and grace.

Fear is Paralyzing. Face It!

Fear holds us back often not from danger, but from possibility. It whispers lies about our worth and our chances. But when we face our fears, we take back control. We realize that courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the decision to move forward in spite of it.

Memories are Sweet, Cherish Them

The past is gone, but its echoes remain. In our memories live the laughter, the lessons, and the love that shaped us. Don’t just look back in nostalgia and honor those moments. They’re part of your story, and they deserve a place in your heart.

Living with Thankfulness

Life is a journey made up of ordinary days and extraordinary moments. It isn’t always easy, but within every chapter whether it is joyful or painful, there is something to be grateful for. And even when we feel like we’ve lost much or been denied something we hoped for, there’s another truth that grounds us:

“If we can’t be grateful for what we have, let us at least be thankful for what we have been spared from.”

That shift in perspective can transform our lives. It’s easy to focus on what’s missing, but gratitude redirects our attention to what remains our resilience, our loved ones, our chances to try again.

So today, and every day, may we choose to live with thankful hearts. May we find beauty in simplicity, grace in struggle, and hope in the unknown.

With this, I am thankful for all of you reading this.

much love,

Aixo

A Reflection on Motherhood

 

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this May and in Poland, on May 26. I’d like to take a moment to reflect on what it means to be a mom here, and as a Filipina. It is a mix of both cultures, values, and ways of nurturing, yet motherhood carries one shared responsibility—no matter your background, culture, or upbringing.

Motherhood is a journey of many layers. It’s not just about raising children. It’s about becoming someone new while still holding on to who you were before.

It is waking up early to prepare for the day, working hard either at home, in an office, or both and carrying the invisible weight of emotional labor. It is answering questions, solving problems, offering hugs, setting boundaries, and worrying deeply in silence.

It is being the center of a family’s universe while sometimes feeling invisible in your own.

It is holding space for others while slowly learning to hold space for yourself.

Motherhood is a role that never clocks out. It teaches endurance, creativity, patience, and love that defies logic. It asks you to be strong on the days you feel most vulnerable. It teaches you to stretch your time, your heart, your limits and more often beyond what you thought possible.

But within that stretching, there is also growth.

In the whirlwind of responsibilities, it becomes easy to forget that behind “Mom” is a woman. A human being with dreams, needs, and her own story. Tiredness becomes normal. Rest, option. But slowly, we begin to understand: taking care of ourselves is not a luxury, it is part of the responsibility.

Because the more nourished we are, the more fully we can love. The more rested we are, the more deeply we can give. The more we honor our own humanity, the more we teach our children to honor theirs.

So here’s to the mothers who show up, day after day, with quiet strength and deep love.

Here’s to those still learning to give to themselves what they so freely give to others.

And here’s to the truth: motherhood is not just a role we play. It is a lifelong transformation and we are allowed to grow alongside the children we raise.

Cheers to all Mother's in the world!

xo,

Ai

Of Ghosts and Shadows: The Parts We Never Leave Behind

There are two things we never truly leave behind: our ghosts and our shadows.

We’ve all felt the sting of being ghosted — that painful silence when someone vanishes without a word, leaving us wondering what we did wrong. Ghosting isn’t just about the absence of a person; it’s about the absence of closure, respect, and dignity. Whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or even professional ties, ghosting leaves us haunted.

But sometimes, ghosting isn’t something done to us. Sometimes, we carry the ghost within. The ghosts of our past — mistakes we can’t undo, words we can’t take back, lies we told to protect or to harm, choices we regret. These ghosts don’t scream; they whisper, rising up when we’re alone, reminding us of who we were and what we’re afraid to face.

And then, there are the shadows.

Unlike ghosts, shadows never leave us. They follow us in the light and vanish in the dark. They are quiet reminders of who we are when no one is watching. Our shadows reflect our inner truths — the parts we hide, the parts we still need to heal. They ask us to pause before we project, to reflect before we act, and to look inward before pointing outward.

When we run from our ghosts or ignore our shadows, we only end up repeating cycles, hurting others, or denying what needs healing. But when we acknowledge them — really see them — they become guides. They teach us stillness, strength, and the power of honesty.

So the next time you feel haunted by silence, by the past, or by your own thoughts, stand in the light. Look at your shadow. Listen to your ghost. They might not go away, but when you stop running, they’ll stop chasing you.

Remember:

You are not your mistakes.

You are not their absence.

You are the strength that rises when you finally face what lingers in the dark.

#HealingThroughWords #GhostsAndShadows #PersonalGrowth #EmbraceTheLight

Holiday blues

The "holiday blues" after returning from a week in Rome, Italy, are real and hit me harder than I expected. One moment, I was walking through the grand halls of the Vatican Museums, staring in awe at Michelangelo’s frescoes in the Sistine Chapel, and the next, I was back home, staring at my laptop screen, drowning in emails. The contrast

was jarring, and I found myself longing for just a little more time in the Eternal City.

The Loss of Freedom and Adventure

Rome had gifted me a kind of freedom I rarely experience in my structured daily life. Mornings were slow and unhurried, starting with an espresso prepared at home. Afternoons were spent getting lost in the cobbled streets of Rome or standing in awe of ancient ruins that whispered stories of the past, or just having my long siesta without even being bothered while waiting for a late afternoon lunch. Each moment felt spontaneous, every turn a discovery. But back home, everything fell back into the predictable rhythm of routine—alarm clocks, deadlines, responsibilities. The contrast made me feel caged, as though the adventure had ended too soon.

There was something magical about being in Rome—like I had stepped into a different world where time moved slower, worries felt lighter, and even the air smelled of history and possibility. For a week, I wasn’t thinking about work stress or personal challenges; I was simply living in the present. Returning home, however, brought all those unresolved emotions rushing back. The peacefulness of walking along the Tiber at sunset or listening to street musicians near the Pantheon only highlighted the weight of real-life pressures waiting for me.

Experiencing the True Italian Lifestyle

What made this trip even more unforgettable was spending most of my days with my Italian friends, who treated me like family. I was welcomed into their homes, where I indulged in homemade Italian food and dined at places where only locals go. Experiencing "la dolce far niente" and "la dolce vita" in a real Italian household was something I couldn’t trade for anything. It was a taste of life as it should be—savored, unhurried, and filled with warmth. Late at night, we would spin around the city in their favorite sports cars—one of the many things Italians are known for—before taking slow walks on cobblestone streets, escaping the bustling crowds of tourists. It felt like stepping into a dream, one I never wanted to wake up from.

Unmet Expectations

Before my trip, I had envisioned returning home feeling rejuvenated, inspired, and ready to tackle life with newfound energy. But instead, I felt a strange emptiness. The reality of post-holiday life didn’t match the expectations I had set for myself. Instead of feeling refreshed, I felt like something was missing, like I had left a piece of myself in Rome and didn’t quite know how to bring it back.

Missing the Connection

Traveling through Rome, I had brief but meaningful interactions with strangers—friendly shopkeepers, fellow travelers, the elderly woman who smiled at me while I struggled with my Italian. Each connection, no matter how fleeting, added warmth to my experience. Now, back home, I missed that sense of connection. The spontaneity of human interaction in a foreign place, the shared smiles, the laughter over a mispronounced word—it all felt distant, making my usual environment seem lonelier than before.

A Personal Pilgrimage to the Vatican

One of the most humbling moments of my journey was my personal pilgrimage to Vatican City. I walked through the Holy Doors for the Jubilee Year, a rare and sacred experience. Standing in the grandeur of St. Peter’s Basilica, I felt a deep sense of devotion as I prayed—for myself, my well-being, and my loved ones. It was a moment of reflection, gratitude, and surrender, reminding me of what truly matters beyond the excitement of travel.

Nostalgia

The memories linger like a soft haze over my days. The way the golden hour painted the Colosseum in hues of amber, the echo of footsteps in St. Peter’s Basilica, the taste of gelato melting too fast under the Roman sun—I replay these moments in my mind like a film I don’t want to end. Nostalgia makes the present seem dull, and I catch myself wishing I could relive those moments over and over again.

Adjusting back to real life feels like hitting the brakes too suddenly. The ease of strolling through piazzas has been replaced with rushing to meet deadlines. Instead of choosing which trattoria to dine at, I’m meal prepping for the week. It feels as though I’ve been yanked from one world and thrust into another without warning, making the return to normalcy a bit of a struggle.

Yet, as the days pass, I remind myself that Rome is now a part of me. The experience, the feelings, the memories—they aren’t gone. They live in the stories I tell, in the pictures I revisit, in the small ways the trip has changed me. And maybe, just maybe, the holiday blues aren’t just about missing the past, but about finding ways to bring a piece of that adventure into everyday life.

There Are So Many Ways to Be Happy

Happiness is not a destination—it’s a journey. While many of us seek a grand, all-encompassing sense of joy, true happiness often comes from the small, everyday moments that we sometimes overlook. There is no single formula for happiness because everyone’s path is unique. However, here are some beautiful and diverse ways to cultivate joy in your life:

1. Embrace Gratitude

Happiness begins with appreciating what you have. Keeping a gratitude journal, saying “thank you” more often, or simply reflecting on your blessings can shift your mindset toward positivity.

2. Connect with Others

Human connection is essential for happiness. Spend quality time with loved ones, engage in meaningful conversations, and nurture relationships that bring out the best in you.

3. Engage in Activities You Love

Hobbies and passions give life color. Whether it’s painting, dancing, playing an instrument, or gardening, doing what you love fills your soul with joy.

4. Prioritize Your Well-being

Taking care of your body and mind leads to a happier life. Regular exercise, nourishing food, and quality sleep contribute to overall well-being.

5. Practice Mindfulness

Living in the present moment reduces stress and enhances joy. Simple mindfulness exercises such as meditation, deep breathing, or savoring a cup of tea can make a difference.

6. Give Back

Helping others creates a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Acts of kindness, volunteering, or simply offering a listening ear can bring immense joy to both you and those around you.

7. Surround Yourself with Positivity

The environment you create influences your happiness. Choose uplifting people, declutter your space, and consume content that inspires and motivates you.

8. Celebrate Small Wins

Happiness comes from recognizing progress, no matter how small. Celebrate your achievements, acknowledge your growth, and take pride in your efforts.

9. Explore and Learn

New experiences bring excitement and joy. Travel, learn a new skill, or try something outside of your comfort zone—it keeps life interesting and fulfilling.

10. Let Go of What You Can’t Control

Holding on to negativity only diminishes happiness. Learn to release past regrets, forgive yourself and others, and focus on what you can change.

At the end of the day, happiness is about finding joy in the simple things and making the most of every moment. There are countless ways to be happy—so find what speaks to your heart and embrace the journey with an open mind and a grateful spirit.

xo,

Ai

I am wintering!

Winter is still here, not just in the world outside, but in the rhythm of our lives too. It’s a season for slowing down, for leaning into rest, for retreating into warmth, and for looking inward.

Wintering is more than just a time on the calendar. It’s a way of being, a surrender to the cold and the quiet, a recognition that sometimes, we need to rest. The earth is still, and so are we. It’s a season for nurturing the seeds of growth that we can’t see yet, trusting that when the time comes, they will bloom.

But wintering is also a time of deep transformation and healing. As the world outside freezes and retreats, we too have the space to transform in ways that are often invisible to the eye. In the stillness, we can confront what needs to be healed, letting go of old patterns, fears, and doubts that no longer serve us. It’s the quiet work of renewal, even if it’s not immediately apparent.

Wintering has taught me the power of healing, growth, and transformation. It has shown me how to bear the loss of people so dear to me—those I thought were essential, that I once believed were always meant to be part of my life. Yet, through the stillness of this season, I’ve come to understand that loss is also part of the journey. It is within this space that I’ve learned to find strength in letting go and creating room for new chapters.

Right now, I am in my own winter. I am sitting in stillness, grounding myself, embracing the art of letting go. There is power in this quiet solitude, a profound peace that comes from simply being, without the pressure to do or become. I am learning to trust the process, knowing that even in the cold, the ground beneath me is still working, supporting me as I transform.

If you’re in the season of wintering, take it as an invitation to rest deeply. Tend to yourself with softness and grace. Know that even when everything feels dormant, the groundwork for new beginnings is being laid, unseen. Winter is a reminder that growth comes in cycles—and sometimes, the best thing we can do is let the season be, allowing it to heal, teach, and transform us from the inside out.

I am wintering.

xo,

Ai

How my children surprise me this Mother's day

 

Today is Mother's day in Poland. Dzień Matki as they call it in Polish. Every 26th of May is celebrated here. Why every 26th of May? you can read it here.

 Back in my country, it is celebrated every second Sunday of May. At first, I thought it is also celebrated the same day here. In Poland, It is always different.

I have to be honest,  I never knew the importance of this occasion not until I became a mum. Although, we always appreciate my mum and other mothers in the family every mother's day, but the impact of this is different now that I am also a mother.

Surprise attack:

Today, my children wakes me up early morning with my favourite breakfast all ready for me. My oatmeal and my favourite Vietnamese coffee. I'm wondering how they all managed to prepare all these. That got me terrified. Cooking these all in the burner plus preparing my coffee using  my phi filter with that hot water..wow!

What an early surprise from my children, Isn't it? Truly, I'm now a mum and they're growing up so fast. I'm wondering what time they woke up? they said before my alarms strikes..that means before 6:00 a.m.?   

* (gushing)

How sweet! hmmm..That's an an effort!

I took a quick snap just to remember this effort they made.

a smiley face? :-)

Sometimes, I am wondering if I deserve all these. I'm so grateful to have them in my life.There's one thing I'm sure of, I made the best decision to be a mother..not just a mother, but for being a mother in all sense of the words for these two sweetest children. 

It is true that motherhood has a tendency to make us away from our relationships with our friends and sometimes from our partners. Having our children, they are the reason that we need to bond together more as family. Relationships with friends will follow, just have to find time. 

Being a mother is hardwork. There is no pay nor raises and much more no holidays. You only get raises from stress and pressure from your children's demands. But having my children, seeing them growing up happy and well mannered, are all worth it.

If you're a mum here in Poland, make time to bond today with your family. After all, this is all about family celebrations. Make moments and store it in your heart.

To all mothers in Poland, Happy Mother's day!  Wszytkiego Najlepszego w dniu Matki! 

Enjoy!

xo

Ai

Be present

It's been a while. 
Life's been pretty hooked up with work...home...work and home. 
How can I be more calm and relax when finding time for myself is hard?
I know. I need to do something.

With all the chaos around me.

See.....

• I work full time in a BPO-IT company, often work is urgent. Things that comes up needs to be investigated and resolved at once.

• Distractions of social media and other digital things are pretty annoyingly a disturbance
• My two grown up children.

• The laundry.

• The house is such a mess.

For me, it's too many things coming in all at once.

My brain needs hybernation with all these.

As I calmly trying to find comfort here on my couch, while brewing my coffee, the anwer to all these chaos in my mind is to BE PRESENT.

This is one amazing technique that could resolve all these.
But how to be present?

Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. I will get back to you with my answer as well.

Have a nice day, and please be present today!

Stay calm.

love,

Ai

10! A decade of living a Polish-ed life

Yesterday, I celebrated my 10 years living a Polish-ed life. Yes, a decade of experiences and mixed emotions. Living like the Poles but still feeling like a fool. :-P

The best way to celebrate it is to run in a 10K, but I end up having and sharing a cup of coffee over an exquisite cupcakes at my new found favourite cafeteria in the heart of Bytom, Poland, of course with the wonderful people in my life. 

Wooohooot!

10 years ago, I packed my life in a single suitcase. Left my country with a heavy heart, yet with no regrets. Leaving behind the people I grew up with. Being here, living like the Poles, adjusting to fit in to the culture not minding the harsh winter (for a tropical woman like me it is harsh and depressing. ), most of all trying to learn the complicated Polish language are just few things that I dared to face, yet really drew me near to myself...who I really am.  

In this part of the world, I've met wonderful true friends and gain respect in the end. I have learned to detoxify my life from abusive toxic friends. To be honest, I have love and hate relationship with Poland, not because of the weather, the language neither the people. But sometimes I feel like I am still stuck somewhere in between. Nonetheless, I love this country for it is a beautiful place, but what makes it more beautiful, its people - the Poles, who accepted me as I am and love me like I am their kind. 

In retrospect, I never knew what I want 10 years ago here. All I know of that time is to build my own family and live life how it should be. What it is now is just something I am happy to tap my shoulder and say, I survived! Having a great faith in my heart that everything will be all right with me in this country is indeed a bonus. 

Actually, I just turned a year older as well  and being here for 10 years, these all I can say: 

I may not be the same individual I was 10 years ago, a month ago or even a week ago. I am always constantly growing. My experiences don't stop here because life does not stop.  I have a constant hunger to learn, to improve, to live. Getting older everyday and where I live is both an opportunity and a priviledge to experience life's amazing goodness. 

Cheers for my 10 years anniversary here in Poland! 

With faith, let's count together for another more decade for me to live a Polish-ed life.

xxoo

Ai

Figuring it out

Krakow, Poland - A tourist trying to find balance / trying to take a  perfect photo of Wawel Castle

February and March has been about finding balance.

  

February has been about focusing and putting back my energies on. I need to focus on one thing at a time, I can't get things done not unless I focus in it and baffle it down. Sometimes it comes under pressure. 

The past two months has been definitely an experience in the sense that I am figuring it out. I'm in the process of trying to put myself back on track. ( like blogging for writing is always sort of an outlet - my way of expressing). And doing things I been wanting to do for the very long time is kind of exciting. It's roughly like 3 years, I set aside a certain project that I been wanting to do but never trying to push or focus myself on it. I been out of the radar. This time I am excited to do it all again for I know it would be an awesome platform for me that can add more spice into my life. Aside from working as an English teacher here is kind of crazy and still trying to find a momentum with that, I'm also trying to find balance between my personal life for that would keep me sane if you just probably know me personally,  and as you can read here sometimes.

Lately, it has been quite a whirlwind kind of emotions in the personal life department. Yet, we managed to at last moved to a new space and spent a very low key 10 years wedding anniversary in an intimate family dinner. We opted not to celebrate with a lot of people, although it would have been awesome, just because I want to realign my personal life again without the noise of other people around us. It has been great, still working on it. Living in with other people for 10 years in a house has been a struggle. I think you know what i mean. And being able to move away from everyone only just our little family is really pretty awesome. I found freedom and peace within. I don't want to feel weird or personal or emotional about it. By just having our own space now is absolutely wonderful! 

March is about to end and this time I would like to say, I am having peace with myself and I am ready to face what's ahead of me/us.

It's still beginning of a lot of things. I can't wait to see them happening. I am excited to share them all to you here to see them happened. To put them into realization. hopefully by the beginning of April - spring time. There's a lot of wonderful bunch of talented people out there that I tried my best to get inspiration of and I just have to try my way to put my spin on it because one thing I'm sure  why I am living in this world is not only to do things over and over again. but to try and I want something new - a creative outlet to put back myself on track. That artist in me. And experiencing a lot of emotions the past months awakens and pushes me back to the limelight. Not only waiting but doing something. I'm trying to be hard to myself sometimes and feel different. I know it is not good although sometimes I need to. we need to. still I am thankful for everything.

I need to go and get back to work.....

Thank you for being here.

xxooAi

37

37 

.....
is a number.  

Not  a jackpot winning number .
It tells of an age, yet not numbered.
37 is past 30.
younger than 40.
but older than 20.
3 X 7 is 21. When my young heart fall for the first time.
3+7 is 9. That reminds me when I was 9 and i have my time.
Invert it, it's 73. Wondering how & what I'll be.
Yes! It's just a number.
But, I'm proud to say that it tells of my age,

 I get better as I age.
and remember,  age always doesn't matter anyway!

9 years

Exactly today, I turned 9 years living here in Poland. 

Wow! exclaims most people I've met for the first time and often asked me, how'd you survived? oh well...i just bat my eyelashes.

 9 years ago, I packed my life in the Philippines in one suitcase.  I left my country with no regrets, although with a heavy heart leaving behind the people I love and grew up with.  

Being here, living like the Poles, adjusting like trying to fit in with the culture, the harsh cold winter, most of all trying to learn the language are just few of the things I dared to face. Yet, it drew me near to myself...who I really am. 

In this part of the world, I've met wonderful true friends at the same time, I've learned to detoxify my life from abusive toxic friends.  

In all honesty, I have love and hate relationship with Poland, not only because of the weather , language but sometimes I feel like I'm still stuck somewhere in between. . 

Overall, I love Poland for this is a beautiful country, most of all the people - The Polish, who accepted me as I am and love me like I'm their kind.

Looking back, It's worth the choice and decision of living here in a way, looking at how lovely are my children, and how still blessed I am with the people around me who loves me the most. After all, this is Polish-ed life....

Na zdrowie! Sto lat!

Did I just smell vodka?

Love,

xxooAi

Hurrah for the next phase of life!

Wooohooot!

It's officially summer. Time to get away....somewhere..anywhere! Oh well, overwhelmingly busy the past months and weeks...running after school activities, lesson plans, make up classes and trying to recover from recent health issues. The whole month of June has been great so far, not minding the chaos and messy situations.  Nevertheless, I'm always grateful.

I managed to juggle work and play in between school sessions. Although, I was caught in a situation that I needed to breathe out and slow down with everything. I've missed a lot of things in the blogosphere. There were always rebuttal going on in my head whether to shut this blog off completely, or stick to this one. I'd choose the latter. So,  I'm still here.  Probably just have to renovate and make changes with everything here. I tried to avoid writing too personal issues in here now. I hope. Somehow write things that is inspiring and motivating.

Been planning a whole stuffs to do for the next school year. I would still be teaching in the same language school, and got private offers as well. I'm still blessed.  Most of my time are spent either preparing school work or daydreaming when to get back into baking and sewing again. Although, I have a loads of projects I wanted to accomplish before the year ends.  Sadly, I always start with planning and execution is always take a back sit. What's going on to me? I need certai kind of Focus! That's the word.

My 10 years old hyperactive students.

Last Thursday, I had a marvelous time with my juniour high school language students. It was my last encounter with them in the classroom for they would be moving to a new phase of their student life. It was one of the amazing discussions with them.  There were so expressive and cognisant during the whole 45 sessions. When I knew that it would be their last year in the school, I got quite teary eyed. Amazing! what a bittersweet feeling...time goes by so quickly........ I'm thankful that in their young student life I am part of it, and I hope I was able to partake a bit of my knowledge and views in my culture and how I'm living my life  here in Poland.  I know they would be reading this post and I'm always wishing them all the best things in the years to come. I know they will make it far, for I see the potential and wisdom in their young mind. 

16 years old language students

Goodluck ! 

For now, enjoy summer and prepare yourself even more for the next challenging school life. 

And, here's me with my language students. I know I'm petite, but cute, isn't it? (blushing)

On the other side, my 6 years old boy just graduated preschool. It wasn't that long ago I blogged here his birthing and how I anticipate having a next child - boy. It was an emotional afternoon for me as I watched him danced, sing and recite poems in front of the crown of parents. As he walked on stage receiving his preschool recognition.  Surreal! time flies so quickly..i want my baby boy back! nahhh!

Hurrah for Summer, and the next phase of life.


And, thank you for still being here.
:-)
Ai

That feeling......in Krakow!

If there is one place I wanted to be right now, It would be somewhere by the beach, sipping a refreshing tropical drink, listening to the sound of the sea waves and enjoying the warm of the tropical sun.  

I'm wishing....

*sigh

Yes! The weather is getting colder now here in Poland. That is why, I'm imagining myself getting soak under the sun.  Don't get me wrong. I like colder weather for I'm tropical girl, but too much cold is something hard for me to bear. 

Nevertheless, bravely went on a short weekend trip in Krakow with a friend who visited me. It was a very frosty day. My friend is wishing to see snow for the first time but what welcomes her is the horrible frosty cold weather that we are now experiencing here. Nonetheless , we had  fun. Being with an old friend always gives me a wonderful effect. That warm , nostalgic and being together without any quirks because you've known the person for long, that is one of my definition of  how being joyful.

Here we are....not too many pictures for I promised myself to live by the moment and enjoy. 

 

Even if I'm day dreaming soaking myself under the tropical sun, but that feeling being with a dear friend and in Krakow blew away that feeling blue moments. Actually, It is not about the place but being with someone you truly admire as a person, as a friend..makes all things worthwhile. Not even the cold can stop you from being together.When she left, I had hard time convincing my children to stop crying. They like her and they wants her to stay for more days with us. And that's influencial my friend's personality somehow. That's how cruel my life sometimes. When you are living far from close friends and family, all you can do is sigh. (hugs)

I've got pretty busy months and weeks ahead of me. However, managed to entertain friends visiting Europe recently. And hope to get back into travelling pretty soon by backpacking somehwere in Poland once school isn't that busy.  of course, get back into my sewing groove and few projects as planned...

Hope you had a wonderful days ahead! more stories next time....

Powodzenia !

If there are two Polish words that I mastered uttering, it would be okropny which mean terrible, horrible & awful and the word masakra, which means massacre.  These two words really describe the past weeks of intense emotional feeling and horrifying events that I don't want to discuss in here for it is purely personal and horrific. 

 Despite of all that, I am doing so well.  Precisely, I am immune now to such emotional events.  Losing loved ones I look up to in life is horrifying now for me. Indeed, life  must go on. 

Here I am by the way...still alive and ready to mingle once more.

Oh, I went on a hiatus, I'm keeping myself busy with a lot of things at home. Trying to get back into my projects that I haven't been doing for the past months.  Just that I am trying to find motivation to get back into the groove again especially in the field of sewing.  So many designs left in mind..so many plans what to do next..just that I have little time for school eats a lot of me, lately. However, that isn't an excuse...I should keep going, right?  

And i realized that 2014 ending so soon.... Oh, no!  I need to do something. Lurking with super down emotions won't help and keeping myself busy isn't the answer to forget emotional pains as well.  So lately, I get back to baking ( one of my favourite thing to do). When I'm sad and super down, I bake my hearts out. It is therapeutic. I swear!  hope to post a pic of what I bake next time...

And...Trying to meet friends once again..

I took a short trip to Warsaw for the very first time after living here for 8 years.  

*WINK  

Did I hear you laughing?  Oh well, that's just life. There's one special person who convinced me to go and do a short trip..to see , listen with my heart and see things in a bigger perspective. Watched the legendary John Legend's concert and  I had fun and makes me happy. Though big city life isn't fascinating to me now since I grew up in a big city as well, but that is great to see what the Polish capital has to offer for an expat like me. Nothing much actually..for It was only a short tip and on top of that, it was a very frosty gloomy day. Nothing much fascinating to see and i shy away from mall hopping. Does it something to do with age? :-D

Alright, alright...wherever you are in the world and whatever you are doing, I hope your day is great. And when your day is horrible and you feel awful, just smile, and the world will smile back at you. Try it! it works for me.

Now, you are smiling.  :-)

Powodzenia !  - Goodluck!

 

xxAi

Questions

  
Why? What? 

?????????

Won't life be boring if we cease to ask questions? There! I have just asked another one. LOL!

 I have lots of questions myself that are still unanswered. Some of these questions however, I prefer to hang in mid-air just so I still have something to decipher as I walk in this labyrinth of life. Some questions are downright silly but some are painful... like a vise grip squeezing my heart.

I guess we just need to continue the journey. We may or may not find the answers but for me that's okay. Life may give us unanswered questions but God gives us unquestioned answers.

While we are still here, let's enjoy the journey.

life's lessons

Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long lasting.  Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to.  Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep going and thank them for what they've given us.  - Emery Allen

Dear Papa

Piekary Sląskie Basilica

Dear Papa,

 I miss you so much. I don't know anything else to say right now which is why I stop writing here for awhile hoping I could find answers somewhere.  Yet, I feel like writing back here would be a great relief and would be a great sounding board for me to express the feelings when you left. So, here I am writing you here in my blogosphere. Perhaps, up there in heaven there is a great connection that would some way connects this feelings/writings to you.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I could say it one million times a day and it would never diminish the feeling.  It would never take away the giant whole in my life caused by your absence. I keep waiting for someone to tell me what to do without you and no one has the answer. At the very least, could someone give me the acting lessons I need to pretend I know what to do?

The other day I was reminded of the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and I found myself wondering If I would ever erase anything from my life because it was too painful.  And I found myself, just for a moment, wishing I could erase my memories of you.  Thinking of how much easier it would be If I never knew you existed so I would never have to miss you like I miss you now.  

I wish I could have you back in my life... 

:-(  

I love you and I miss you so much Papa! 

Your daughter,

Ai

Happy New Year but I have to say goodbye for now.

Dear my wonderful readers out there (if any of you are still there),

been awhile not blogging decently here. Maybe because there are lots of things I needed to attend to in real life or maybe i just lack inspiration to blog. with the recent tragedy that happened to my family, there are lots of things needs prior consideration. dealing with grief is one thing.. i thought it was that easy for me. it is hard. each day is a battle of emotions. of missing my dad and leaving mom behind while living here in Poland. yeah, life must still go on. It's a cliche. how can one possibly move on that easily when your heart is still in mourning and in pain? how  will  and who can actually define life? no one. never. life is a whole lots of questions and puzzles. life is difficult, short and undefine.  It's how you make it. how you live with it. 

when i look back at how my dad live his life, it was just so simple. he lives a very simple life of struggles, simplicity and contentment. struggling to make both ends meet everyday to sustain the needs of his family. as simple as what he can offer and afford, he was able to nurture us his children with all his love and care. content of what life's offers him..not asking much but enough to feed his needs and our needs. he never dreamed of richness because for him - he's already rich having us his family. 

his one simple ordinary man.  take him to his favourite fast food store and buy his favourite beer, his good to go on that. he is that simple. among lots of clothings he has, he settled for one that he always thinks comfortable to wear. not minding what brand or style.. just the comfort of wearing it. he didn't look for pleasures with vices. for his pleasures seeing us happy with our own lives and decisions. he never seek to be famous yet he was known as a very helpful man. a man willing to serve without complain. he has a big heart that is willing to help despite that he also has his own struggles. life is simple for dad. though he died with fear for sure because he will left mom ahead  and us his children. his last words before he past away was " your mom..." and knowing him, he always look forward for mom's welfare and find strength with mom.  this was a hard acceptance for my mom. but i admire her even more now. for she was that strong when dad left. she face all with strength and confidence for us her children. and here i am finding myself suffering..struggling to move on. it is because so many questions left unaswered with the passing of dad. i may not find that answers now...but in time...in God's own time. for sure.

for now, let me say i needed to rest this blogs for awhile. maybe.  and find answers somewhere...somehow and let my heart dictate me  in time again to go back and blog again. with the fast growing world of internet, i needed to unplug all my connections and learn to listen to my heart again and to those people who knew me well. where i could probably find my strength and inspiration. by then, i can slowly move on and face this grief with my heart only. i want to learn from this experience and find my strength again. thank you for being here for the past years and for still being there with me. somehow i inspire you with my post and hopefully i could go back with more strength and full of inspiration. goodbye. for now. see you someday soon.

Happy New Year, by the way! Enjoy 2014 and hopefully this year would be a blissful one for all of you.

love,
Ai