Letting go of pain

Olafur Arnalds songs playing in the backgound...coffee is brewing....the weather is a mix of sunny and breezy. And, I feel like things are getting a bit too crazy right now. everything around me is rather too noisy, that I can't hardly think of myself, what to do and what to focus on.

In this quiet MOnday morning I am reminded that I need to let go of the clutter in my life.

The silence and the soothing music of Olafur Arnalds made me think of how wonderful to get some quiet time even for just some hours.

There are too many things in my life recently that stress me out, from emotional  to material - work, home, relationships, duties, family problems, friendship issues, painful experiences. these are things we have no control of but we must let go.

As for me, I must first Let go of  pain.

I used to think of myself as someone who doesn't get hurt, However, I am aware that pain is inevitable.

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

I've learned that, I create and maintain the problems because It gives that sort of identity in me. That the more I hold on to it and keep replaying past mistakes , allows me to have that feeling of shame and regret to shape my actions in the present. Tendency I cling to frustrations and worry much about what is coming - the future. That holds a lot of stress in my mind and body. That results to recent feeling of weakness and more health issues at present. Ajahn Chah's words lured us that letting go of pain may never be that simple yet every moment and chances is the best time to practice letting go and be peaceful. 

For me, to slowly let go of pain is to :

1. learn a new skill. Instead of dwelling of the skill you never mastered, learn a new trade or tricks instead.

2. Change you perception and concept with how you deal with things in life. - accept it as a blessing in disguise.

3. Cry it out - I only have few close best friends that I can really rely on and cry on, And I can be open to them with what I feel and with the pain I'm experiencing. It feels so great knowing someone knows what you feel, instead of judging you but telling you both sides of the coins. And, according to medical experts crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress. So cry it out...don't be shy. After all we are all human. To be honest, I don't know anymore how many times I cry my hearts out to few very close friends, and I could feel they are a bit tired of my drama. (Hey!  you know who you are *wink)

4. Channel your discontentment into a something positive actions. Instead of lurking in your room crying and still feeling the pain, go out and try to look for some positive things to do like running, meeting friends over coffee, do voluntary woks or find a new job opportunities.

5. Pray, meditate and do yoga and other exercises. - Praying and being in my best mental self early morning is one factor that really gives me that positive vibes within the day. Doing and engaging in an active sports decreases stress hormones and releases happy ones - endorphins. It truly improves your state of mind and thinking.

6. Make a list of your accomplishments- no matter how simple it is, write it down, and add up things in your list everyday. I've learned that there are lots of things I 've accomplished lately that I neglect on recognizing. It was amazing and I feel so proud of myself.

7. Visualize a box in your head labeled it "expectations"  - Whenever you start dwelling on how things should have been or should be, try shelving them into this box of expectations.

8. Stay focus. Something that you can actually control rather than you can't. I know it is hard. I'm still struggling on this from time to time but yeah, just keep on doing.

9. Express your self to a creative outlet like writing , blogging or colouring, drawing, paintinga and DIY projects.   I always express my feelings through writing and doing creative things.  I always see to it I have notepad with me to jot down things i have in mind at once and what I thought about on things I've heard and seen.  It truly helps to focus and to stay positive.  It is like a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to let go of the feeling.

I know, these are things we already know.  but with all the distractions around us, we need to be reminded and stop holding on things that is unnecessary to keep us going to find peace and making pain bearable. After all, we only want happiness and peace, don't we?

(series of my notes of letting go......)