Kilig or Coping? A Grown-Up Love Story (With Myself)

 Lately, while writing something completely unrelated, I paused mid-sentence and thought:

"Wait… is this kilig? Or is this just a trauma response in disguise?"

That one question spiraled into a rabbit hole of curiosity. So here we are.

Do You Still Feel Kilig at This Age?

(By the way, I’m in my mid-40s—yes, I am!) 😌

Let’s be real: kilig hits differently these days.
Gone are the high school days when a simple “Hi” from your crush could make your heart do jumping jacks. Now, it takes more than just butterflies, it takes emotional safety, clarity, and a solid check-in with your inner child.

So, QOTD (Question of the Day):
Do you still feel kilig at this age? Or are we all collectively living in our manhid era? 😂

I asked myself this too, and here’s my honest answer:
Rarely na, gurl. And when it does happen, it’s situational AF.

It depends on:

• Who the person is

• What kind of connection we have

• The context (Was it 2AM or 2PM?)

• And more importantly… is the feeling safe or is it lowkey triggering?

Because here’s the kicker:
Not all kilig is created equal. Sometimes, what feels like spark is actually our nervous system reacting to something familiar like chaos, inconsistency, or unhealed wounds.

When Kilig is Actually a Trauma Response

Yep. That soft flutter in the chest? Sometimes it’s not love or romance, it’s survival mode dressed in dopamine. 😬( slap in the face)

I’ve had to ask myself:

• Am I feeling excited because someone’s presence is calming and kind?

• Or am I “excited” because my system is on high alert, trying to win validation or recreate old patterns?

It’s tricky, right?

So now, I find myself wondering:
Is this real kilig or just my inner child clinging to a red flag? 🚩🤡

The Adulting Version of Kilig.....

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in love, spark, and all things kilig.
But these days, it looks different.

It’s feeling seen during a deep convo.
It’s someone remembering how you take your coffee.
It’s peace in their presence and not chaos.
It’s being attracted to people who feel like growth, not confusion.

So my final thoughts...

To anyone out there who still feels kilig, I see you.
To those who don’t anymore—you’re not broken. Maybe you’re just healing.
And to those wondering if what they’re feeling is real or just a trauma loop: keep asking. Self-awareness is hot now.

How about you?
Do you still get kilig? Or do you also have moments where you’re like:
"Wait… is this healing or just high-functioning heartbreak?"

Let’s talk in the comments. 👇