Friday, July 18, 2008

Emotions and Feelings

Friday, July 18, 2008
Rarely I show emotion to anyone else not unless I am deeply hurt or having trouble with my feelings. Even when I am in a joyful situation, I'd rather not feel like being joyful.

Usually i express it in words or by crying...sobbing like crazy. Often, i let it out to someone whom I could trust and truly understsands me. (G can attest to that *sorry darling). I don't want to show emotions sometimes not because I want to pretend or whatever. It is my way sometimes of measuring how far is my capability of withholding myself from someone. Who could hold back when you sees that everything is not falling into place as you expected it to be? But then, there is strengh to that and it is where you will find your greatest strength when you are in your weakest point. Your capability of seeing and feeling the right perspective of things in the numbness situation. I am human. Therefore, I am emotional, pathetic, unpredictable, reactive & in many ways fighting to be more human becoming.

In some ways, it is how to play life. Not to be showy with a face with emotions nor a heart with feelings. It can be deceiving to self. But then, it can be a scapegoat to ones reality.

I could not comprehend how many times I made effortless move just to get away with draining situations. Situations that would take me to see an emotion. Emotions are so draining, that's how i find it. It eats up all your brain and left your whole system down and weary.

If I could just stop my emotion from feeling the whole day, then it maybe there is exactly more peace from within. And then freedom will just overflow without making extra care to ones feelings.

Why not try to be emotionless sometimes. Why not!

If emotions are feelings and Feelings are emotions, then I want to be emotionless so I could not feel that funky feelings.

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