For today

I am contemplating...

Trying to feel the silence around, the cold winter winds and just being with myself.

I wanted to take a moment to share thoughts, but it seems in my hustle bustle world as a mom sometimes it is hard to stop and contemplate on things. Time so monotonous and sometimes depressing. As time passes by, I think am getting older faster. That's what I feel. There were moments that I feel like the hopes and intentions of tomorrow becomes the regrets and disappointments of yesterday. As each year stretches into the past I find myself further from where I thought I would be.

Three years ago, I lived in the tropics. I gave up my job and tie the knot. I was in the verge of confusion and fear to what would be ahead of that life. I was turned inside out just to finally decide on things. I knew then. I had to make decisions and start a new life over with someone . Singlehood is over and i had to put an end on everything. Decide and free the baggages i have stored inside of me for so long. Take the plunge and head to a new brighter direction, more focused and determined.

Now 3 years, married with two children, still connected with old friends (reconciled to some) and faces I am still here. It may not be the life I am hoping to have or one i thought would have, but this is the life I loved and wanting to have. More peaceful, contented and adored. As I look back, over the last 3 years, I can see I am very fortunate and well blessed. Extremely grateful for all the wonderful things may it be with my faamily, health, wonderful few friends whom I've known in my life. They say with age comes wisdom. In trying times, you will see more of yourself and the bigger picture of what's life all about. It is true! In these lifetime, I have learned so many thing. Most of all, i learned that no matter what & where life leads you, there is always hope. You just have to be true to self and others and take off that plastic mask instead wear the suitable one.

There are always apprehensions along the way and much more trials to surpass. Still there is always a silver lining at the end of every storm. We just have to look for it and appreciate how simple it is. It may not be where you thought or as obvious as u had wished, but it is always there. It is love and hope that makes everything blends and comes out so well.

For today...

I am excited and happily wiggling my toes to take every step forward.

Enjoying the simple yet essential things life is offering.

Feeling pretty all the time amidst the nightmares and bad hair days.

Taking my time to savor the food i am taking.

Praying and grateful for my everydays.

Enjoying every inch of time with my darlings.

Giving a warm smile to evryone.

Being a friend to someone.

Sharing more time with G.

and let go of the past hurts and more forgiving.

That's what I contemplate today.