Oh, so this language!

Sometimes dealing with real time world is quite easy than writing a blog  that wants proper attention and care. Sometimes ideas just don't get in tune with feelings and much more, we needed that much inspiration to keep the juicy side of the brain going.  I would choose the latter - inspiration. 

That doesn't mean I'm not inspired. I always get inspirations on things, people I came in contact with, with what's happening to the present world and most of all with what's within me. 

The past days were a bit of a struggle, fighting with cough and colds. Bugs caught up with us at home and makes me not to realized a lot thing planned.  Good, all is well now.  

Dzięki Bogu!

And then I realized, October is here.  

Will I ever get a nice experience this month? I don't know. All is up to me.  I know, there's a lot of things I have to deal with starting this month. I have to keep myself amused with time and so not to get bored and in autumn depressing mood. I love Autumn because of its mosaic colours of leaves, but I don't like it's eerie glow. Skies are often grey, foggy, rainy and crisp cold air begins to unravel.  

My plan..........

Time to scrub things of my feet once again. Open my notes and  books on Polish language and begin to master this complicated language...and dreaming that I get to speak like a pro in no time. That won't happen if I seek perfection at once. So, I'm taking my slow yet focus. For sure I get to speak like real Polish in time.  

I'm holding a Polish citizenship since 3 years ago but I don't speak the language and that's disguting, isn't it? Don't blame me. Blame the Polish, why they like to complications. (smile, if your Polish) Inside of me, I'm still very Filipino. for I never renounced  my citizenship. That makes me a Fil-Pol. Or FOO-LISH!

If you ask me, what I gained with having two citizenship. Well, to be honest. Nothing that special. Just that I never have to renew my papers every now. Then, at the Polish offices with also complicated rulings (for actually they have different rulings). They're giving us a headache before and glad I'm over it now. I should have blog about it then..the complications of processing and my battles of how they changed my names here. That reminds me, to investigate it once again soon for I would have to deal with it again later on in a more complicated way. I hate dealing with paper works but for the sake of legal matters, we have to. 

One time caught my attention to really really speak Polish is when we were having our afternoon walk with my son...

Son: Mom, you really have to speak Polish.

Me: Why?

Son: because sometimes there are words in Polish I don't know in English. 

Me: Like what?

Son: Piaskownica

Me: What is it?

Son: Sandpit

Me: So, you know what it is in English. 

Son: No! not all the time. 

Me: hahahah !  silly boy.

Then, that got me thinking that my son is right. Not all words is familiar for him in English,  for some things are more expose or that seen in Polish culture only. Familiarization  in English is limited to the extent when it comes to dealing with only with Polish friends most of the time. Some not the same in English. Not only that innocent conversation with my son awakens me, dealing with the daily routine of my daughter in school especially that she's now in first grade. That entails me to help her with assignments which is all in Polish and that really frustrates me. I can't help her in that area. And I get so emotionally dealing in that category, for I'm always want to be involve and hands - on in everything for my children. So, that's the big mess on my side. However, there's nothing I can do. I'm not Polish and I never speak the language. I have to wait and do something.

That's my struggle here - the language. Honestly, there are really moments that I wanted to just disappear and you know live somewhere else more familiar to me.  Then, I always know how to reconcile with my disappointments. I know how to console & understand myself without anybody telling me, that giving up isn't part of my system. Saying NO at once to something means being coward and failure. Naaah! that isn't me. I'm a superwoman in the making.........

Makes me think of buying this book to enlighten me more....or to give me some familiar hint of gusto.

source here

What do you think? Dump? sometimes I feel like one, seriously.

And, realized I should STOP relying on Google translator, because I always end up uttering these words............

source here

From now on, I have to rely solely on my guts to learn and speak Polish with my heart.  A friend always reminds me that to fully embrace the language, you need to put your heart into it. Just like how I put a lot of feelings into my baking, cooking and pieces of arts. Alright, I'll take that advice and hopefully I get to see my real heart into this language very soon.  

Oh, so this language! 

and so help me God!

*pulls hair and rolling eyes. 

If you ever have any suggestions for me to learn the language easily...comment below. I want to know your side and if you have struggle with any other languages.