For not knowing what was coming.
For being too kind sometimes.
For giving away more of myself than I ever gave to myself.
For saying yes to others, even when my own heart was saying no.
For agreeing even when it was against my will, just to avoid a problem, an argument, or the possibility of disappointing someone.
For always choosing peace for everyone else, even when it meant losing a little peace within me.
For thinking I had to keep understanding everyone, even when no one was trying to understand me.
For giving chances.
For forgiving.
For staying.
For hoping.
And maybe I don't regret being kind.
I just wish I had remembered that I deserved the same kindness I so freely gave to everyone else.
I didn't know what was coming.
I didn't know that life would bring me here.
To this chapter of uncertainty, reflection, and a diagnosis I never imagined for myself.
“You have cancer.”
And somehow, those words made me look back at my life differently.
At the things I tolerated.
The things I allowed.
The things I kept putting aside.
Especially myself.
Maybe this is not about regretting who I was.
Maybe it's about finally learning to take care of her.
The woman who kept giving.
The woman who kept saying yes.
The woman who kept trying to make everything okay.
She deserves to be chosen too.
And this time...
I choose her.
I choose me.
xo,
Ai
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